Wednesday, October 22, 2008

News From the East and From the West

All embarrassing body talk can be referred to by using directionals. You know... "Did you properly wipe down South?" "We don't lift our shirt up in public. People will see up North." You're getting the idea.
I'd like to welcome to our family the newest references of East and West. Last night, just before Mika's shower, I hear a whoop from the bathroom. It sounds like this: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOH! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!"
The door pops open and he says, "Mom! Come check this out!" He shows me his underarm. "What am I looking at?" I ask.
"Can't you see the stubble there?"
"No."
"Right here! See how it's darker?"
"Son, that's dirt. Get in the shower."
"Wait! That's not all! Smell my pits!"
"No thanks."
"No, seriously, I have REAL b.o.!"
"WHAT?"
"I do Mom. It smells like man underarms. Smell it!"
So being an obliging mom, I actually did give a little sniff. And SWEET MOTHER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, the child has an underarm odor! An honest to goodness, authentic pit stink.
So I explained to him that it was now time to start caring for East and West by using deodorant.
"But then I won't have the smell, right?"
"Right."
"But this is a really cool smell, Mom. It's like a MAN!"
"Son, if you have any hope of keeping your friends, or one day going on a date, you will need to adjust that mindset a little. I'll buy you some deodorant tomorrow."
"I can't decide which is cooler- using deodorant, or keeping my man smell."

I think I'll go ahead and decide for him. East and West will come to know whatever the heck it is that 10 year old boys use. I'm only familiar with Secret. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. What's out there that's strong enough for a man but made for a ten-year-old-boy??


26 comments:

diane said...

So he's gone from smelling like a puppy to smelling like a big dog. I remember those days. He's growing up.
There is some stuff called Teen Spirit. Soon he'll want Axe.

Christie said...

P.S. I totally would NOT have smelled the pit. You are wonder woman.

Christie said...

Get him some Axe. It's powerful and strong, plus all the ladies will flock to him (at least in the commercials, they do).

♥Shally said...

Ummmm... Jax is six and has to wear deodorant.

Seriously.

I use Dove. I figure it is better for his young skin.

Don't know why.

Desi said...

My 10 year old daughter has been smelling like a “man” and shaving "East and West" for a couple of years now. I had no idea they grew up so fast!

I worried about her using deodorant so young so I went and spent forever in the deodorant aisle at Wal-Mart looking at ingredient. I’m sure people thought I was nuts kneeling with a couple dozen different deodorants reading the back of all of them, but we found one that has no aluminum in it and it smells like cucumber melon so that's what she got :) I’m no help in the boy department!

the wrath of khandrea said...

the child has been obsessed with axe since his dad gave him some last christmas. the body wash and the spray. while i appreciate the fact that it's CHEAP, i secretly long for the days when he will put on something that smells good. something that costs $75 for 4 ounces.

Sherine said...

Wow.. another proud mom moment.

Hazen5 said...

I love it!!! You fell for the old "Smell my Pit Trick". The men in my household use Degree. It's made for a man but, this women uses it!

HappyBack said...

I don't remember ever getting excited about this. I think the state needs to come by your house and make sure everything's on the up-n-up.

lisha said...

Except you will be shelling out the afore mentioned $75 bucks only to have it get spilled or stolen by a teenage girl with a serious crush on him and sprayed all over the lockers at school. Wait...flashback...what are we talking about?

Anna said...

I would have taken his word for it re: the B.O. No way would I have done taken a wiff of jiff. It's funny that he is so excited and impressed with his new found smell and so anxious to grow up. Remember when we counldn't wait to start our period? What were we thinking?

kara jayne said...

The pictures are hilarious. What a cutie. Oh...I mean, What a man!!

Lisa-Marie said...

This just may be my all time favorite post of yours. You're a hoot and you have one darling little man. Those pics are so cute (uh uhm...handsome.)

Good luck with the deodorant.

Hollyween said...

I like the part where you said 'sweet mother of abraham lincoln'. That's hilarious.
I think I will pass out and die when my kid has b.o. Not from the smell, per se, but just the fact that I would be old enough to have a kid who has that many hormones.
My condolences.

Tristan said...

That is so so funny that he was excited! When I got my period at 14, I cried. It was devastating.

Paige said...

I am embarrassed reading this post, and I don't get embarrassed. But he's proud, so what can you do?

Jenibelle said...

Thank you thank you thank you. I am going to print this post and slyly stick it anonymously under a couple of doors at my house. I especially appreciated the part about having friends if you stink. Could you do a post on showering and brushing teeth soon? Thank you for co-parenting with me.

Clair said...

LOVE the pictures! Oh to be excited about the onset of puberty! Not!
I had no idea what EAST and WEST could be- good one!
Sorry, no boy deo recommendations. When Livvy started needing it I gave her a hand-me-down. Imagine her excitement when she got to pick out her own- Strawberry Scented Teen Spirit or something like that. She carried it like a baby through the store and kept sniffing it till we got to the checkout counter.

Bridget said...

That's awesome. I love that he's proud of his manly stinkiness. I'm sure the smell was one only a mother could love. You are brave.

Ilene said...

Does this mean he has been smelling his pits on a regular basis waiting for this day to come?

Is this what I have to look forward to in six short years?

Thanks for the warning.

gab said...

Jake has been wearing Degree for a few months now. I don't know if he "needs" it yet, but I remember teaching sixth grade and wanting to give all my students a year supply of RightGuard for Christmas.

This post is so good!

D-dawg said...

Awesome post. Who knew a 10 year old boy could be so happy to be smelling bad? Great pictures too. I have no idea what to buy him - I'm hoping Dave will step in when we need it over here.

Belinda said...

Ingenious with the whole directional thing! I am definitely going to try to integrate. However, I don't think it's going to help us yet. You see, Brady turns 3 today and just yesterday at an adult neighbors birthday party he came out of the bathroom, pants in hand, turned, touched his toes and asked "Mommy, Did I wipe good?"

We probably just aren't there yet! But please, keep the tips coming as someday we'll be there!

Jessica said...

and we have Reason #47 Why My Life Is So Much Richer Due to Blogging:

I get to learn when Andrea's sons begin puberty.

Linsey said...

since when does puberty begin at 10? holy cow, I am so not ready for this

um, round these parts, we seem to favor Old Spice, talk about smelling like a man!

mamasuisse said...

I love this post. My son is the only other person I've ever heard of who is so excited about puberty. We've had nearly the same conversation in our house - minus the East/West part - too funny. Now that he's sporting fuzz on his upper lip, he may bust with pride.