In Which I First Pretend, Then Confess

Mika received his Webelos award last night, along with his Arrow Of Light. This is because he is a very diligent worker, dedicated to anything he sets his mind to.
Jeeze, I could barely type that pretending part. I'm dying over here. Let's get to the confession.

Mostly it's because I kicked his butt around for the past 3 months trying to catch him up on all the stuff he missed while he was playing soccer. I could hardly keep a straight face during the ceremony when I had to say something to the effect of "We are prepared to support him in the next leg of his Boy Scout journey." Mostly what I was thinking was, "If I have to endure this same crap during the next leg of his Boy Scout journey, the kid is gonna get beat."
The irony of it all is that they're up there telling him how hard he has worked and what a great contributor he's been, and in the 15 minutes prior to our departure from home that evening, all we heard was, "When can I quit Scouts?"




On a more positive note, he did kick butt today at his track meet. He ran in the 400 and 800 relays, and came in 2nd and 1st place, respectively.

This picture is hilarious because you can see that he lost his shoe. Mr. "I'm too cool to lace up my sneakers, even in my first track meet ever" discovered that perhaps laces are indeed valuable additions to his Nikes. I was proud of him though, because even after losing his shoe he ran his face off and came in first. Please note all the fuzz blowing in the air. It's some kind of stuff off the trees, and it's so annoying because it's everywhere right now.

I'd like to pretend that my Golden Child, my firstborn, is perfect. That he is well on his way to Eagle Scout and Atheletic Scholarship. I will confess, however, that he would probably be more content if I just let him play video games all day.

Stinker.

Is 600 Pictures Too Much for One Weekend?

I remember last summer, it seemed like everyone took a hiatus from blogging. I rarely updated, and most people seemed to post a few pictures of their kids playing in some kind of water situation, and that was that. I feel like I'm slowly creeping back into that mode. Summer vacation.

Anyway. We went to Seattle for a wedding. It was really super fantastic, and I am still in shock over what a fabulous time we had. There was no bickering, no whining, no vomiting, and the kids' behavior at the wedding itself was so outstanding, that people kept complimenting us. Yeah. I know. Anyway. Maybe because everyone was so agreeable, I ended up taking over 600 pictures. Ridiculous? Yes. I have narrowed it down to about 220, but really. Do I need that many? I can't part with anymore though. The first 400 were hard enough.


We took the ferry, which was a vacation in and of itself for the kids. They LOVED it! They played tag on the deck, and had a total blast.




Keola is so handsome when he smiles. Probably because he can sometimes be a smidge on the cranky side, I devour his happiness when I see it.



There was a Mariners/Red Sox game the day we were travelling, so the boat was FILLED with fans. FOR BOTH TEAMS! We did a lot of people watching during the one hour ride, and I was pleased to see the Boston fans outnumbered the Seattle fans. My kids were pleased too.



And honestly, this guy is so hot, sometimes I can't stand it. Do you love him or what?

The wedding itself was outstanding. It was my kids' first experience with a Catholic wedding, and they did great. They were especially happy when, after sitting still for an hour in the service, I asked them to sit a little longer outside so I could take their picture.

The reception was beyond a blast. Mika caught the garter. Seriously. He didn't even know what it was, but he was so thrilled because "he won".

We dusted off our dancin shoes and cut a little rug. I honestly think it was one of the most fun experiences we've had as a family.


The reception was in the Bremerton area, which was absolutely beautiful. Everything was so green and the weather was perfect. Was I NOT supposed to take pictures of that? Come on.

We spent a few hours on the beach checking out barnacles and crabs. I am proud to say there was not one reference to spongebob squarepants. My kids aren't allowed to watch that show. I'm a mean mom.

Lastly, I wanted to take a minute and show off my buff arm. I let Keola use my camera while Skip and I were dancing, which I have never done before. I was curious what kind of shots he would take. They were all, of course, blurry, but he did take some interesting pictures. But I felt all conceited when I saw this one, because you can see my muscle. And I wanted everyone else to see it too.

Thank you.

Better Than Before, But Not There Yet...

So. I've been hounding people again to let me photograph their kids. It's been fun. Although I find I am not very good when it comes to posing people. That's why I like the candid shots better. It's easier than trying to tell little kids where to sit, and to be still while doing it.

Anyway. I did a new baby and her mom this week; it was a bit of a challenge but I think we got a few cute shots. For some reason, though, they were really dark. Still working through the process of shooting in manual mode.

I have also been really eager to try and take pictures of this little guy. That orange hair just screams to be photographed, and this kid is spunky. He is so active, so I thought it would be good practice for me to try and catch him with my camera. He was a blast to play with, which made it totally worthwhile. Plus, I got a few cute shots that I felt good about.

An unexpected bonus was that his sister was dying to have her picture taken. She was like a little mini-model. This is the kind of kid for whom they invented the phrase "The camera loves you." Anyway. I need to learn more about lighting, and I need to accept the fact that sometimes, a filler flash is okay. I have this obsession about being able to shoot only in natural light. But I think there are other options for me to explore.

Also took this one of Noe, thought it was cute and loved the lighting.

And last, but not least, my husband wore his uniform to church today because of Memorial Day. He looked so good, I took a little extra time on my hair and makeup so I wouldn't look shabby next to him. I love him and am proud of all he does to serve our country.

Happy Memorial Day.

Got Baby?

This is my friend Denae. You can read her blog here. She and her husband are trying to adopt a baby. They are a wonderful family, and a child would be blessed to live in their home. My kids probably wish they could live in Denae's home.
So if you know someone who is considering adoption, let's make the connection.

A Few Reasons I Love Them

In all fairness, my family made my mothers day really fantastic. I got the typical array of misshapen pottery, handmade cards, newly-sprouting plants, and poems. My favorite poem was from Mika. It was an acrostic, which read,

Marvelous

Outstanding, yes you are
Totally awesome
Hilarious funny, and jokes-full
Educated
Remarkable
------------------
I love him.

------------------

Right after a long, hot shower, I was treated to breakfast in bed. It was tasty. My husband is a good cook. PLUS, he bought my FAVORITE thick-sliced, hardwood smoked, pepper bacon. Mmmmm... He rocks my world.


Noe and I had a special day at her school on Friday, where she sang some beautiful songs. I found it entertaining that she sang every word of all five songs on the same exact note. Full volume. It's sort of an endearing monotone.

Keola got a mohawk. He asks me to draw a picture with my finger on his back every night before bed. He wants to snuggle with me. He hasn't gotten in trouble at school for a long time now. We are on a real high right now, and I am loving it.

Mika turned 11 this week as well. He is getting ready for his first stint in tackle football this summer, and Skip took him to purchase some "personal" protective athletic gear. He makes his purchase, and gets in the car. He looks at the sizing on said gear, and says, "Um, about this size. What exactly is it measuring?" Skip replies, "Your waist." Mika says, "PHEW! I was really getting worried for a minute there!" Yes, thank goodness you don't have to measure up to 20 inches.

Tunesday: Forget the Love At Home

Just in case you are Mormon, and had to endure a Mother's Day service at your local meetinghouse, I am dedicating this Tunesday to you. It's a safe bet that your service consisted of a completely exaggerated talk about how someone's mom was an angel on earth; a saint who baked fresh bread daily and never raised her voice. Or perhaps you heard from a mother about her perfect children who all served missions and married in the temple. Whatever the case, odds are there was perfection aplenty from the pulpit while you sat feeling less-than-perfect in your pew. The meeting closed with the song "Love at Home" in which you were reminded that "hate and envy never annoy" whilst you sat feeling annoyed with your irreverent children.

I will pay some good money to anyone willing to volunteer for the special musical number next year, and sing this version of the song:

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all.

and if the embed doesn't work, CLAIR, here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz-I_KRWnhk&feature=player_embedded

...but a little discomfort is good too.

Reflecting on my previous post, I think in the end it may have sounded a bit too Cleaveresque in its approach. I mean, ideally that is what we're striving for. But I don't think we should discount the value of discomfort in the whole process. It's an effective deterrant.
Here's a fine example.

Today, the kids ask if they can go someplace. I say yes. They do not actually go where they had asked to go. For two hours, I'm not really sure where they are. I have a pretty good idea, but they are not within earshot, and do not have permission to be where they are. This makes me feel uncomfortable. But I'm sure they will come home when they get hungry.
Lo and behold, noon-ish arrives, and here come some hungry, happy kids. A chat ensues.
-Where have you been?
-answer
-Did you have permission to be there?
-no
-Did you let me know you would be there playing for the morning?
-no
-Why is this a problem?
-maybe you didn't know where we were and were worried?
-Yes, actually. I have been quite uncomfortable all morning, not knowing where you were. Unfortunately, you will also be feeling a little uncomfortable without any lunch today. Also, since it's apparent that I can't quite trust you to be where you tell me you'll be, then you'll need to stick around the yard for the rest of the afternoon. The good news is, you won't be bored because we have a job for you to do while you're here.
-silence
-The birds have really been pooping a lot on the deck this spring. It's pretty gross. Actually, the whole deck is looking pretty shabby. The firewood needs to be put up for the summer, and the general debris that has collected over the winter is about ready for cleanup.



As you can see, the children are experiencing discomfort this afternoon. There was no yelling, no screaming, and I feel at peace. They were well aware of what they had done wrong, so no extensive lecturing was necessary. Just a few questions. But I wasn't really prepared to just hug them and say "Let's make a better choice next time, okay?"
It's all about what works for you. And by "you" I mean "the mom".

Easier Said Than Done... But Working On It.

So there I was, sitting comfortably on Diane's bedazzled walker, thankful to at least have a seat in a room full of cranky Mormon women willing to fight to the death for a chair. Pen at the ready, I listened for the secret to successful parenting. Do you know what I discovered? Scoot closer and I'll tell you. I am not actually doing a half-bad job!

Glorious news, right?? I KNOW!


I didn't go to Women's Conference this year with any big struggle or challenge that needed solving. I didn't have any broken heart that needed mending. I was just hoping for a feel-good time and a bit of reinforcement. And I got it. Here is what I learned about my parenting experience from the classes I attended:

#1. "Correction is an opportunity for a teaching moment for one in need by one who is needed." Get it? Someone needs the correction, and someone is needed to give it. And lest you quickly assume that the parent is the one needed to give it, keep an open mind that sometimes, the tables are turned. But for the sake of conversation, let's just assign those roles to their obvious recipients. Suddenly, things just make sense. My great little (and not-so-little) kids just need to be corrected from time to time. And I am charged with that responsibility. Is that not the easiest synopsis of parenting? So all I really have to do is patiently, gently and lovingly correct my child's errant behavior as occasion dictates.

Oh.
Hmmm.... there had better be a #2 somewhere in here.

#2. Personal refinement. Ah yes. That never-ending journey. I am not by nature a patient or gentle person. In fact, I am easily irritated. I recognize these character flaws, and from time to time I get the divine prodding to improve on them. Other times, I am perfectly content to stagnate in my imperfection and force the rest of the world to deal with it. It's a fine line. Since at the moment I am feeling the need to act on this acknowledgment of my shortcomings, we'll go with that. How to? Really. How to? Change is hard. It's an uncomfortable nod at how you're not as good as you wish you were. It's the setting of goals. It's the falling short of those goals. It is continued work, yes WORK, at achieving them. Like I don't already have enough to do, now I have to work at something else. Splendid. Thank goodness I've come up with point #3.

#3. That Great Guy Upstairs. Seriously. You know the popular Christian phrase "God is Good"? Well He pretty much is. If you want to be a better person, odds are highly in your favor that He wants the same thing. Suh-WEET! So ask Him! Part of the personal refinement process is the divine intervention of it all. I mean, you could probably try to do better and set your own goals and stuff, but I'm a firm believer that it's gonna go a whole lot more smoothly if you deliberate a bit with God. So in this instance, you want to be a better parent. You recognize that easily-irritated, highly-impatient, unrealistically-demanding character flaws are impairing your ability to do so. Ah yes. The admission of weakness. Asking God to fulfill his promise to make weak things become strong. Trusting He is capable of increasing your own capabilities. And then letting Him join you in the daily grind of it all.


#4. Back to the parenting part. Four steps; perhaps easier said than done, but certainly worth attempting. (Here's where I reflect back on my stellar outlining skills. Already used numbers, now I use lower case letters):
a) Take a deep breath. Pause to collect your thoughts. (Child is really ticking me off. Still love
child. Want family to be happy. Breathe in, breathe out.)
b) Think of the formula. "Correction is an opportunity for a teaching moment for one in
need by one who is needed."
c) Teach your child, and invite them to change. "It's a bummer that you felt it was okay to
eat potato chips on the couch. Unfortunately, this shows me that you have a hard time
remembering the rules about eating in our home, so there won't be any more potato chips
for you for awhile. I'd like you to think about our family rules. Will you make an
effort to stick to them?" Sounds dorky, but it's certainly preferable to "ARE YOU
FREAKIN KIDDING ME? POTATO CHIPS ON THE COUCH? GIMME THAT BAG
AND GET IN YOUR ROOM. NO MORE TV FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!"
d) End on a positive note, even a compliment. "Hey, I appreciate the way you listened to
what I just asked you to do. You're a great kid and I'm glad I can count on you to be
obedient."


We don't want punishment; we want natural consequences. We want to get our hearts to a place where the little day to day trials can be handled with compassion; where we recognize that 'Hey, this poor kid screwed up a little today, so let me give him a pat on the back and remind him he can do better.' The key is that instead of anger and frustration, both the parent and the child feel at peace after the interaction.


Bottom line: some days I get this. Some days I even do pretty well with it. And other days, I don't. I'm just trying to keep the former from outnumbering the latter, while learning to listen to the Lord in the process. I think that's a decent enough goal. Plus, I heard it said that while we value the results of correction, God values the process. Someone wanna cross-stitch that for me?

Tunesday: Stop This Train

If you were one of those unfortunate enough to be tortured by our way-too-long Christmas DVD this year, you will perhaps recognize this song. That is assuming that you sat through the entire barrage of music and photos.

John Mayer has this fabulous voice. It's seductive and compelling, and he has a way of making you want to experience everything he's singing about. This one hit me particularly hard, at least the way I interpreted it.
*Disclaimer: I can only offer my own interpretation of songs. Who knows if I understand them to mean what the artist actually intended. If nothing more, you at least get my twist on it.

To me, this song is a journey. I feel like he starts off complaining about life, and wanting to get off his proverbial train. Been there, felt that. Like those days of "Please God, not one more poopy diaper; no more late night wakings... I MUST have sleep..." Following me? When life has felt like it's hurtling out of control and I wanted nothing more than to get off that ride. How many times have I ever felt "This is NOT what I signed up for"? Be it parenting, marriage, career... my train ride has at times been one I have wanted to stop.

But the song takes an interesting twist. Suddenly, he can't take the speed. The train is going so fast, and he's missing things along the way. A wise man gives him this advice: "Turn 68, you'll renegotiate. Don't stop this train; don't for a minute change the place you're in."

And that's where I am right now. Parenting has ceased to be overwhelming to me, and has become a challenging journey that I want to enjoy. Marriage is a blessing; every moment I can manage to savor is worth the effort. So whatever your situation is right now, take a minute to renegotiate and find out how you can either enjoy the ride, or make the ride enjoyable.

Download the cut off the album "Continuum".

Week In Review...

I have a confession to make. I haven't actually been holed up studying Photoshop Elements. I took a little trip. I went to that crazy place called Utah for a few days. I went to attend women's conference at BYU. I did work on Photoshop a little since two weeks ago, but not enough to really learn anything yet. Work in progress.

Anyway. I went with Lisa just like last year. Although this year, it seems like we had to share each other with lots more friends, which had its pros and cons.



Met up with Martha Corinna again, which is always good for my soul. She is a person of depth and wisdom; truly one of my greatest finds in the world of blogging.


Hung out with a few more gals that I know and love. There is never enough time to really sink into the meat of a friendship when you only have a few hours to try. But I will say I have been truly blessed with wonderful friends, and it is good for my soul to connect with them from time to time.


And of course, a quick brunch with HappyBack, which as you can see I thoroughly enjoyed. Ask him if he's wearing a women's jacket. Just ask him.


In keeping with tradition, tomorrow will be our regularly scheduled Tunesday. The rest of the week I will regale you with the lessons I learned from conference. Brace yourself for spiritual enlightenment. Good stuff, I tell ya.