hail, hail...!

yep, the gang's all here. we love having all the kids at once, although it isn't easy. there are a lot of personality clashes and a lot of adjustments that are still being made. but there is also a lot of love, and that seems to douse the occasional hot tin roof episodes. here's a few of the utopian airport moments:
and of course everyone's happy after opening presents:
we've also had the perfect snowfall... easy shoveling (says me, as i watch skip out of the window. WHAT? i have herniated discs in my back. i can't possibly help shovel!), great sledding, gentle snowboarding...
we love our children. just like any family, each of them can drive us as crazy as the other. but we appreciate them and recognize how much they make us grow into better people. hopefully better parents too, but i won't push it.

curse you, polly pockets!

this is auntie marji. we have been friends for over 30 years. we grew up right next door to each other. she is family.

this year, she sent each of the kids money for christmas. noe has just gotten into polly pockets, so she got a really huge polly pockets play set. for those of you who are unfamiliar with polly pockets, allow me to elaborate.

basically, it's a mini-barbie. she has rubber clothes that are easy to slide on and off. she has a million accessories. they are all extremely tiny. polly herself is about 3 inches high. i am fairly certain polly was designed by a man, one who does not stay at home with children all day and fully understand the ungodly mess they can create. if she wasn't designed by a man, then it was by a rich woman with a nanny and a maid. i have held off on buying any polly because i don't like finding little pieces of stuff all over the house. but noe had a friend over the other day, who brought her polly pockets along. they played for hours with this stuff! HOURS!

imagine... as i did... my daughter, occupied for hours with polly pockets while i blogged. and in the back of my twisted mind, i also saw the organizational possiblities. they were ENDLESS! i could buy a tackle box, we could put shoes in one section, tops in another, hair accessories in a third... i saw myself actually taking a break from blogging to organize polly pockets for sheer fun.

well.

enter reality. noe has one plastic tote, in which she insists on keeping all the clothing, accessories, dolls, pets, and vehicles. it has no compartments. it has no sections. it has no pockets. everything is just thrown in there in a chaotic, unsystematic mass of plastic anarchy. i'm not allowed to arrange them. and the ones that are kept in there are the ones that are NOT left on the floor after cleanup time. it is literally impossible to pick up every piece of polly pockets after you've played with them. i maintain that it simply cannot be done. even with the best of intentions, and the utmost attention to detail, you cannot pick up every piece of polly's stuff. nope. but if you want to give it a try, come on over.

one of these things is not like the other...

take a close look at the two pictures that follow. what's different?
if you guessed that we've switched spots in the picture, you are correct. but if you ALSO guessed that my amazing husband bought me a beautiful gift for our anniversary, then you are correct as well!
funny story here. this weekend is our one year anniversary. we had made some tentative plans to go to dinner and a movie, which i was feeling was a bit lame. in a conversation yesterday where one thing led to another, i may have hinted to my husband that seeing "i am legend" for our one year anniversary wasn't exactly what i was hoping for. as it turns out, neither was he. and he was semi-insulted that i had not intuitively known he had something up his sleeve. he had already made reservations at swilly's. we had never eaten there before, and it was fantastic. he had asked to reserve their best table, but was told it would only be available after 6:00, since an elderly couple occupied it every friday night at 5:00. when we got there, they were leaving, and it brought tears to my eyes to see how sweet and in love they were. it felt good to sit there and know that one day, we would be them. just hopefully a little taller.

while we were eating, two guitarists came over and started serenading us with "blue moon". i thought this was a little unusual, since we have no particular attachment to this song. the man two tables behind us also found it unusual, since he had paid the guitarists to serenade him and his wife with "blue moon." we all got a good laugh out of the mix-up, but only one couple tipped the guitarists.

during dessert, the manager brought over a gift box, and inside was, yes, a beautiful pearl necklace and matching earrings. i have always wanted a pearl necklace, but never mentioned that to skip. so i was very impressed at his accuarcy and good taste.
his present came today.

i was eligible for a discounted upgrade on my phone, so i gave him my eligibility. he picked out a new blackberry. i feel like it was a cheap gifting move on my part, but the guy is like ellen in a pet shop, he's so excited. so i feel better.
anyway, the whole evening was great. of course, minus the part where we came home and the babysitter was dying because of all the crying and fighting she had to deal with. two kids were still awake, one was still screaming. one who is too old to be screaming, i might add. i quickly volunteered to drive the sitter home and let skip handle that. by the time i got back, he was able to save the night and maintain the mojo. whatta guy!

the season of all things good

life can be crazy. sometimes, it can also be great. right now, we're in a great moment. here's our update of good tidings for the week:

our really great news... prayers are answered. jordan and samantha will be coming up for a week right after christmas. we miss them like you cannot imagine, and we are thankful that god softens hearts.

mika has had a great week. he and his friend did a sign language interpretation of a song in their school christmas program. he also did a shadow puppet theater, which was really fun.



he's the curly haired shadow in the corner.

keola is a middle child in every possible sense of the word. he often needs more "encouragement" towards good behavior. so skip and i instituted this behavior chart:

obviously a points and rewards system. but he also gets to put a 1/4 tsp. scoop of colored sand in a bottle for every point he earns. CHECK OUT THIS PROGRESS!!!

noe is doing extraordinarily well with her speech therapy. she got her progress report, and she has reached many of the goals her therapist set. my favorite line in the report was "noelani is an energetic, enthusiastic and challenging client to work with." loosely interpreted, it means "noe pretty much does what she wants, but fortunately i'm still able to teach her a few things."

we also had a great snow, and the kids spent hours outside with their friends, making a giant snowman. they rolled the balls all over the place until they were huge. but this was as far as they got because no one was strong enough to assemble the snowballs.

then there's skip and i. this weekend we will celebrate our first anniversary. more to follow on that. last night i had a terrible headache, and wanted some brownies. here's what the bless-ed man did:
impressive, no? he understood that when i thought i might want brownies, what i really wanted was a slice of cheesecake. he is truly a genius, as well as a really great husband.

a poor idiot from watts

i'm pretty sure this was a racist encounter. i'm not positive, probably because i'm a rich smart girl from boston, immune to these things. but it went a little something like this:

skip is at the dentist, wearing his uniform because it's the middle of a work day. first off, the dentist begins complaining about having to go to his son's wedding in a week. skip mentions our anniversary is coming up in a week. the dentist replies,

"what idiot gets married in december?"

awkward silence. the dentist then says, "SO! i see you're in the army. did you grow up poor?"

awkward silence again. only momentarily, though, as skip explains to doctor dingaling that no, actually, he didn't. both of his parents had decent jobs, and they did well, especially considering he grew up in los angeles.

"oh! los angeles?" asks dr. d. "what part? watts?"

at this point, skip realizes he should bite his tongue...figuratively, of course, since the dentist's hands are in his mouth. although this is the very reason he is biting his tongue. something about facing off with the guy holding the tools and anesthesia seems questionable.

but who says stuff like that? i'm beginning to wonder if the guy has a white hood to go along with that white coat he's wearing. in less than 3 breaths, the man implied my husband was an idiot, poor, and from the "city most likely to riot" in california. what's with the stereotyping? i think i'll send him a christmas card this year, complete with his very own noose ornament to hang on his tree.

a little ugly goes a long way

if you're somewhat of a control freak, there's always a little hesitation when it comes to putting your children's homemade ornaments on the tree. not all of them, but most of them. i am all for sentimentality. as a matter of fact, one of the most hideous ornaments i own is an evergreen "fossil" i made in PRESCHOOL. it's the size of a small frisbee, weighs as much as a small dog, and is the color of navajo clay. but i love it because of what it represents. it's a piece of my childhood, fossilized.

that said, i love the fact that my children bring home handmade ornaments. but sometimes, they are just really ugly. i usually try to hang them towards the back of the tree, but i realized this could be insulting to my children. i certainly wouldn't want to sacrifice their self-esteem for my tannenbaum vanity. this year, as i started decorating the tree, i found myself putting the homemade ornaments back in the bag everytime i unpacked one. finally, one of my perceptive children noticed, and called me on it. "mom, why are you hiding all of our ornaments that we made?"

i had a brief deer-in-the-headlights moment, followed by what i consider to be my own personal festivus miracle. it was like the heavens opened, a ray of light shone down upon my head, heavenly choirs sang, and a stroke of genius blessed my twisted mind. i replied, "honey, mommy is not hiding your ornaments! mommy is SAVING them! this year, we are having a CHILDREN'S TREE! this is a special tree mommy is getting so that we can show off all your special ornaments. you can even decorate it all by yourselves! mommy won't tell you where to hang a single one!"

i think there was some kind of cheering. it was hard to hear over the angels' singing. i sent skip out to the garage to find me the singing mini-tree (note: it was still in the garage for a reason. i insisted we leave the cord out there, making it a non-singing mini tree). and here it is, folks. the non-singing-mini-children's tree.
the kids loved the independent decorating, my control issues were assuaged, and everyone is really happy. i think it looks beautiful.

DOMINO!

we like to play a game at night before we go to bed. sometimes it's rummy, or scrabble, or "hurry and do some laundry so the kids have clean underwear for school." you know, the typical games for grownups. last night it was dominoes. i'm new to the domino world and i learned a lot of things.

1. apparently, the object is NOT to line them all up in an interesting formation and then knock one down to observe a brilliant chain reaction.

2. contrary to what i learned in many boyz-in-the-hood-esque movies, you don't have to smoke chronic while you play.

3. also, contrary to what i learned in said movie genres, it's a bad idea to throw down your winning domino and yell "DOMINO, *#@!#"

4. scoring is done by one posessing secret cult knowledge, or a basic understanding of korean charicature:



5. there is a lot of strategy involved. my strategy is to match one number to another. apprently this makes me a bad player.


6. my husband is highly amused by the phrase, "huh? i don't get it."


7. sometimes, a well-meaning husband may not understand that by playing at the highest skill level possible, he is not actually teaching his wife in-depth strategies. he is confusing her while running up a really high score for him.


8. although, according to the scoresheet, he may not be running up a really high score. he may actually be writing a thesis in korean.


9. sometimes, a crafty wife can play stupid long enough to actually get good at a game. watch out, b.


10. there is a whole separate language for this game. and contrary to the approach i was amusing myself with, it's not ebonics.


so. all in all, a fun experience. i didn't win, but i did learn several new things. the best part is how much fun we have together. i can sacrifice an occasional win for a fun-filled shellacking.

it's SMACKDOWN time.

*before i start today's lunatic rant, i just wanted to say thanks for all the email i got regarding the previous post. i have a lot of really deep thinking to do, and some "back to basics" gospel workouts. if i ever get there, i'll invite you all to my kumbayah party.

so. the other day my kindergartener asked if he could borrow my tweezers to pull out his unibrow. upon further probing, i discovered a 6th grader on the bus had been teasing him about it. he said this had been happening for about a week. so i called the bus department, and the man (named DICK, no kidding) assured me he'd look into it. i asked him to get back to me and let me know the results. he said he didn't understand what i was talking about. i said, i would like to know how the child was approached, what was said, and what the results of the conversation were. dick said, "um. oh. i guess i could call you back." i said, "that would be fantastic dick."

so dick called me this morning. he said, "we spoke to the 6th grader, and he said your son was throwing pasta at him." i said, "on friday, keola made a noodle necklace at school. he brought it home, it broke, the 6th grdaer was teasing him, so he threw a noodle at him. i'm not trying to justify my son's actions, he did get in trouble for throwing the noodle. but what was done about the teasing incidents?"
dick said, "well, the 6th grader said he only threw the noodle back because your son threw it at him first. " i said, "dick. you and i spoke last wednesday. the noodle throwing incident took place on friday. the teasing was happening before the noodle was thrown."

dick (i'm really enjoying calling him by his name) said, "well apparently your son isn't too afraid of this other boy if he's throwing pasta at him. and the other boy said he only threw back in self-defense." to which i replied, "so, dick. are you telling me pasta throwing trumps bullying in bus house rules?" "no, ma'am. nothing trumps bullying." at this point, i almost want to laugh, but i'm so annoyed with his complacency and idiocy, i just can't. but i'm laughing now. so i said to dick, "i would like to know what is going to be done to prevent this 6th grader from continuing to tease my kindergartener. in spite of his pasta throwing, he is still much smaller than the 6th grader and i would like to prevent this from escalating."

dick said, "well, your son should sit in the front of the bus and report any teasing to the bus driver immediately." i said, "is anyone going to speak to the 6th grader again and address the real issue here? what is going to be done to protect my child from being teased?" dick replied, "it's our job to protect every child on the bus. your son was throwing pasta at another child. we have an equal responsibility to both children." i said, "dick. are you kidding me? you have done nothing to protect my child. you have fully sided with the 6th grader because he had pasta thrown at him. he has taken no responsibility for his actions. what is going to be done about that?" and dick said, "well, i guess we could look into that again, and if the 6th grader needs to be written up, that's what we would do. but we can't just kick him off the bus."

at this point i could see that dick was clearly not the person i needed to be speaking with to address this issue. i told him that i had made a written note of his complacent response, of his preference towards punishing kindergarten pasta throwing over 6th grade bullying, and that i would then take it up with higher authorities.

so consider this the written note, and if you'll excuse me, i'm off to talk to the 6th grade and kindergarten principals.

dear abby

i have an issue, and i am at an impass. i have never hated anyone in my life. strongly disliked several here and there, but never hate. now, i do. and i cannot live like this! it is an all-consuming feeling, and it affects me in a lot of negative ways.
i am a religious person. i believe in christ, i believe in the power and strength of his atonement. i believe that he can heal hearts and replace bad with good.
i read a fantastic book called "believing christ" which talks about this very thing. it's the difference between believing IN christ, as in believing in his actual, physical existence, and actually believing him and accepting what he taught. yet i have this hurdle. i feel like i am lacking one essential component in overcoming it. do i lack the faith? do i lack the motivation? do i lack the ability to apply what i know? i just don't know. but i know i don't lack the desire to get rid of these feelings. they are powerful and acrid, and not part of the person i am.
if you have any advice, any practical experience to share... PLEASE! if you prefer a more personal level, please find my email address in my profile.
the key thing to know is that this situation is not going to change. hurtful things will continue to be done intentionally, so it's me that has to change how i respond to them.

truth revealed... or not

there has been some talk in the blogging community about whether or not you should tell your kids the truth about santa. brent had a few things to say. so did paige. i continue to sit on the fence over the issue, which means he will continue to exist in our home until i pick a side.

i don't do the easter bunny, because i think it's stupid. while it's hard not to apply the same arguments to santa, here's my take on mr. bunny:

-he looks like the one guy who lost out on the mascot competition

-a giant bunny who delivers candy? come on!

-i don't really like my kids to eat that much candy, and the alternative dollar store prizes are junk.

-i can draw no symbolism between the resurrection of christ and the appearance of a full basket of candy. well, i could, but it's a blasphemous stretch at best.

so there you have it. i also don't do the tooth fairy. and it's all due to misplaced anger on my part. several years ago, mika's friend lost 2 teeth. his mother, who tends to be an overcompensating, ridiculous woman, felt it was a "difficult experience" for the child, and gave him five dollars. per tooth. mika was beside himself with excitement about the possibility of getting five dollars per tooth. as happened often, i was highly annoyed with this mother. so much so that i said to mika, "look. his mother gave him that much money because she felt sorry for him, which is not a good idea. there is no such thing as a tooth fairy. i will be giving you your money when your teeth fall out, and you'll be getting one dollar, like the rest of the normal boys and girls of america." it's actually worked out well.

so santa. why should he be any different than the other non-existant gift-giving personages in american culture? the best i can come up with is tradition. there is a certain amount of youthful innocence that seems to be lost in today's generation. i blame it all on the ready access to pop culture and media entertainment. (as opposed to blaming it all on parents, like myself, who allow their children this ready access. "sure! watch another episode of suite life honey!")

the anticipation of santa's arrival is really the big whoop in our house. the kids see right through all the fake mall santas, and really give it no thought until they go to bed on christmas eve. then we lay out the cookies and milk, the note, and the carrots for the reindeer. they love that! and in the morning, they love finding the cookie crumbs, the empty glass, and the reindeer poop (melted chocolate) in the driveway. and it ends there. when we open presents, they really don't pay any attention to the tags, certainly not enough to remember if the new toy was from gramma or santa.

i love to watch the kids get excited on christmas eve. to me, that's a tradition. i love that i can give them that moment. am i making it all about me? i don't know. but there are only a few short years that i can enjoy these moments, and since i've nixed the other 2 mythical gift givers, i'm limited in opportunity. so whether it's selfish or not, i guess i'll take advantage of santa for a few more years. despite jack handy's advice, i'm just not ready yet to tell my kids it's their fault god is crying.

decking my halls

i love christmas. who doesn't? one of my very favorite parts of it is unpacking my decorations and setting up my willow tree nativity. i think it is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen by way of holiday decor. i imagine if mary and joseph had sent out birth announcements, they would've used pictures of the willow tree nativity. observe:

actually, there are several benefits, as i see them, of mary and joseph using willow tree for the announcements. here are the top 10:

1. everyone wore coordinating outfits for the event.

2. no need to worry about someone's eyes being closed, since they don't actually have eyes.

3. the announcements could've been printed on pewter blue cardstock, since it was a boy, which would've nicely complimented the color of mary's headdress.

4. the livestock would've been cooperative... no unsightly messes to clean up between shoots.

5. if the wise men were bickering, you could still force them to stand next to each other and look serene.

6. everyone stood very still for the picture taking.

7. no worries about bringing a change of clothes in case of baby accidents.

8. no cramming 5 sheep, a camel, a shepherd, 3 wise men, an angel, a donkey, a goat, mom, dad and baby into one small studio.

9. willow tree probably doesn't have a copyright on reproduction and use of their handiwork on birth announcements.

10. mary could take a nap while joseph set up the figurines and took the pictures.

anyway. it's just a thought. i mean, if they were sending out birth announcements.