And Now, I'm 35.

Well. What a birthday I had! My mom, who reads my blog, jokingly mentioned she hoped all my "advertising" paid off. I'm almost embarrassed about it. I think the last time I got this much attention and stuff for my birthday, I was nine. Next year there will be no soliciting.

Paige and Celia sent me this gorgeous black and white bouquet of flowers with one yellow spot. Actually, I made them black and white. In case you were wondering. They smell so good, and are a breath of fresh air in this snowy, wintry state.

We went out for Mexican on Friday, since Skip was going to be gone most of the weekend. Mmmm... black bean dip... Good on Friday, bad for everyone on Saturday.

Skip loves watches, and is trying to convert me. I'm so simple, I could wear one cheap watch all the time and not care. He wants better for me. I'm willingly being made-over. I absolutely love the watch, and if I had a "style" this would be it.



Marji, my friend who does not blog, sent me a very cute hanging plaque. She was one of my first friends ever, and a true testament to her that she is still my friend. Thirty years is a long time to put up with me.
Mika surprised me with a birthday greeting in blue stones. He ran out of stones, however, and improvised the rest with chapstick, a colored pencil, and a polly pockets car door. (I have no idea where he came up with these things while laying on the floor looking under the couch.) He also gave me what he considered to be a very pretty glass sculpture of two teddy bears by a present. It's one of those "mom" gifts that you love because your child loves, and you proudly display it on the nightstand next to your bed, where company never goes.

I love lemon cake. I was going to bake myself a very nice one to eat with the kids on Sunday. Skip reassured me I would not have to bake my own cake this year, he would be taking care of the cake. I gag at the thought of store-bought baked goods. Once again, he is making me over. He bought "the moistest chocolate cake ever" (that's what the label says) and it was quite tasty.
I got lots of other things in the mail and on email (thanks for the killer CD, H-Dawg, the GENEROUS iTunes gift card Lisa, and I love the new outfit, Mom!!) People were so kind to me all month and it totally made my birthday.

But the BEST surprise, by far, came on Saturday night. I went out with my girlfriend Mindy (who is very cute, and single, so if anyone has a hook-up, bring it on) for a late supper. I got a sitter for 8:30, so the kids would all be asleep. We went out, and my husband was texting me from the mountains, asking how late we planned to stay out, if I had left the house yet, if I was on my way home yet, etc. I figured he was concerned for my safety, or worried that guys would try to hit on us because Mindy is so hot. Turns out... he had arranged with his colonel to come in early from the training exercise to surprise me! So I came home, thinking I'd find my 16 year old babysitter watching cartoons. I found candles and music and children still sleeping... and my out-of-this-world husband waiting for me.

I am so fortunate to have great friends, loving kids, and such an amazing husband.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who made my birthday so incredible this year. I don't know that I deserve any of it after my shameless advertising. But I enjoyed every second of it. When I tucked Keola in last night, he said, "Mom, now you're going to have to wait a REALLY long time until your next birthday. Happy Birthday!!" I think I have enough to tide me over another year. Here's to being 35!

the A part of QnA

This is ridiculously long. I'm sure there is no one other than me who could possibly enjoy reading this entire thing. But I had a BLAST writing it all... your questions were killer. So I don't really care if you read it or not. I've read it enough times for all of you. Feel free to skip ahead to your own questions... and THANKS for asking so many great questions. Thanks for making me feel awesome on my birthday. Oh, and Gabi... I'm sorry, but there is absolutely nothing left for a Gabtalk interview. You people have stripped me bare.

Red Seaglass said... I feel like after 20 years I know you pretty well, but: Remember that Don kid with the braces and bleached front of his hair who we knew briefly around age 14? How many times did you make out with him?

-Holy cerebral whiplash! Thanks for the hellish trip down memory lane. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Were you more than friends with the Garrison kid? {Gerard's best friend}

-John? No. Wade? Yes.

Did you and Steve Rosbach ever make out?

Um... No. See Steve's questions for clarification.

Do you or do you not keep in touch with Tara, bc I had a weird dream about her last night.

No. I would like to though. Miss her!

What is Andrew up to?

I'm sorry, this is about ME, not my brother. (He's married with 2 kids, lives in CT)

Is your mom still crazy about music?Is your dad still the funniest guy ever?

Yes, Yes.

gab said...
I know you said you and your hubby are newlyweds. How long have you been married? Which kids are yours, mine and ours? How do you do it all in such a Brady-Bunch-like-manner? It can't be easy but your family seems so sweet. Details, please.

We got married in December of 06. We were sealed in January of 08. Mika (meeka), Noelani (noah-lani) & Keola (kay-OH-la) are mine, Jordan and Samantha are Skip's. We only have five kids for a total of 3-5 weeks a year. That's why we succeed. I hate it though. I would love to have Jordan and Sam with us all the time. We miss them so much. But we maintain a Brady-Bunch manner by throwing footballs at their noses when they act up.

Paige said...
I still want to know why you keep marrying army men. Why aren't you having kids with your cute husband. Five may be a lot already, but don't you want to reproduce your love?Have you always been this obsessed with your birthday?Why are you so lucky that you get to spend your entire birthday weekend alone?Why are your kids names so um, different?Did you like being single?Does your hubby have to go to Iraq?


-Can't beat the military benefits. Especially if they die.

-My husband has been snipped... prior to my arrival. Plus we have five already, who have a lot of needs. I would love to have Skip's child, if we were ten years younger and had no other children.

-I was obsessed with my birthday through college. Since then, I've tried to tone it down a bit. Oddly, people found me obnoxious. But I couldn't resist exploiting the blog forum this year.

-Bday alone = bad. Not lucky. (plus, the three kids are still here, making "alone" unachievable)

-My kids' father is Samoan. Hence the "different" names.

-I did not like being single. It was lonely and difficult. Plus, no sex. (Sorry Mom and Dad.) Although I did get the whole bed to myself, which I loved.

-He came back from Iraq a couple years ago. He will hopefully retire before he has to go again.

Cindi Martineau said...
I'll ask this just because I used to count as a teenager (and, embarrassing, even in college). How many people have you kissed?

-Skip will love this one. Thanks, Cindi. I actually used to keep a list. (I make a lot of lists. This one was, perhaps, the dumbest.) My goal was to kiss 100 before I got married. I made it to 76. If you count the people I've married, it's 78. I hate that I know that. And I hate that you know some of them.

AnnaBanana said...
OK, what in the world encouraged you to become friends with an over weight middle-aged woman? What ever it was, I love you for it.
-Anna, you are so even-keeled and slow to anger, you are good for me!! Plus, you were skinny and young when we met.

lisamarie said...
do you still have that yellow dress?hee hee I'm sorry. i couldn't resist.
-I wear it instead of lingerie. B loves it.

Christie said...
If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?
-Hmm... probably Skip because I want to know what his mind really thinks about me not shaving my legs every day. Plus, I'd still get to enjoy the great conjugal benefits.

Amber said...
Funny you should open it up because when I just saw your "If you give your mom a moment," I wondered if you modeled it after the book "If you give a pig a pancake?"
Yep. http://eggplant-is-her-game.blogspot.com/2007/09/if-you-give-mom-moment_18.html

Mom2My6Kids said...
I want to know how you met your husband?
We were friends in a previous life. I moved away, and down the road we both ended up divorced. A mutual friend kept in touch with him while he was in Iraq. She told me that he was single now, and I told her to find out if he knew I was as well. She put us in touch with each other, and it was instant.

Hazen5 said...
What is your most embarrassing moment?
You know, I hate this question because I don't have one. I like to share my son's, however, because it is horrible. He played flag football last fall, and had windpants that snapped up the side. Someone grabbed his flag while he was running with the ball, and pulled so hard they whipped his pants right off. He is a beanpole like me, so there he was with his stork legs and knobby knees, in his underwear, in the middle of the field. I was embarrassed for him. Does that count?

Thornton Family said...
Do you still use ice? ice, ice baby......
-Leave it to you, T, to ask the one question that falls into the "ALMOST anything" category.

Jessica said...
From someone who is ALWAYS dealing with this: Have you EVER struggled with your weight?
I struggle the opposite way. When things got really bad in my life a few years back, in spite of still eating regularly, I dropped about 12 pounds. It was not cute at all. 5'7" 108 lbs. Yuck.

Heidiram said...
What is Skip's real name? ("B" from the i-pod engraving.)What is it about Skip that makes you so madly in love with him? Have you always felt this way about him or has that love grown and developed over time?
-Alfred. The B stands for his last name, which starts with B, and since we have the same initials, I just call him B.
-I have always really enjoyed his company and had a lot of respect for him. Since we have been married, my friends who have known me for years and years have told me how happy they are to see me "back to my old self." That is why I love him so madly, because I can be myself and I like who I am. Also, I think it being a second marriage, we both just let a lot of stupid stuff go. That makes it easier to love and enjoy each other. But enough about him. It's taking the focus off me.

brittany said...
what's the first thing you eat in the morning?
toast or cereal

what is your biggest regret?
That I failed in a marriage and my children experienced divorce.

who was your first love?
Wade Garrison (man, you and your sister are KILLN me with these blasts from the past today!)

HappyBack said... Brittany, silly question- I was her first love. We all know that.ok, I have some questions, but I'm sure they are ones you don't want to answer about people you'd rather I not bring up.So I'll ask somethng uber-gay instead. Do you like fluffy puppy dogs, or cuddly kittens better? (Keeping in mind that both lick their own anuses and then your face.)

Yeah, Steve, sorry it didn't work out between us. It was over after I saw your fluffy puppy licking your face.
Actually, for the record, Steve is my brother. I mean, not literally, but he may as well be. He was the only guy friend I never hooked up with. (He claims no place in the "Elite 78") I've known him since I was five years old. He has too much dirt on me for me to end the friendship. Plus, Skip likes him too. So I keep him around.

calibosmom said...
How tall are you?
5'7"

Where do you like to vacation?
We have a timeshare, so anywhere at all. I do prefer the coasts, however. East or west.

Where is the best place you have lived?
Grew up in Boston, I don't think it gets any better than that.

I know you support the troops, but do you support the war?
I hate the effects of the war, but I support it because part of the Army mission is to "overcome any nations responsible for aggressive acts that imperil the peace and security of the United States." That happened on 9/11 and until those insurgent forces are broken, it is likely to happen again.

Would you want your children to be in the military?
They're too young to fire weapons, and they don't make uniforms small enough. Get back to me in ten years.

Do you live in a neighborhood or in the middle of nowhere?
Neighborhood, but with lots of "nowhere" included. It's gorgeous. Who knew Idaho had it in her?

Flip flops, heels, or sneakers?
Yes. Love to lounge, love to dress up, love to run.



Shally said...
Why do you deprive you poor children the joy of having a pet? :)
See Steve's question above.

Do you ever think back to USU and think, "That short dark haired girl that never paid attention in class was SHALLY!"
Yeah, Shal. Every day.

What is your worst habit?
I put the toilet paper on the dispenser the wrong way.

What is your favorite movie?
-I love comedies: Mel Brooks stuff, Leslie Nielsen, etc. For a non-comedy, it'd be The Notebook. I know that will be me one day, and I'm so glad my husband loves me in a way that once in awhile, hopefully, he will still be able to bring me back.

And...Is your singed eyebrow growing back?
The eyebrows, yes. The left lashes... a bit too slowly for my liking.

Rynell said...
What was the first car you crashed?
First and ONLY... Geo Metro driving home from HS graduation. Way to roll up to the party, huh?
Was Steve your first love? And, what was it about him that drew you to him? (I'm cracking myself up here.)
I love how he interacts with his pets.

What is your favorite snack? (DO you snack?)
Fresh salsa and guacamole with thin, salty, greasy chips.

How long have you known your husband?
About five years

Skip said...
*Andrea here. For the record, I could only post three of my husband's questions. I guess he thought when I said I'd answer ALMOST anything, he thought I meant anything HE might ask. HA! Don't think so, B.

If Steve was truly your first love why isn't he black, bald and me?
-Steve is getting WAY too much print on MY bday post. I know he's lovn every second of it too. Anyone got a hook-up for him? He's marketable...

What's really going on with blog-a-la-poop-a-lot?
-Shhh... just like the Army policy... don't ask, don't tell...

Where are those little cakes that Shally sent you?
-ABOUT THOSE... mmmm...


Tristan said...
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
-Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip or Strawberry

What is your favorite thing about yourself?
-My sense of humor.

If money were no object, what is your dream vacation?
-Greece or Portugal

What is your favorite song that gets you moving?
-I have a playlist with about 20 songs called "Motivate Me"... I like music too much to pick one favorite. A couple off the list: Low by FloRida, Just Lose It by Eminem, Glamorous by Fergie

What is one of your biggest pet peeves in this world?
-One? Wow. Hard. How about my top 20 pet peeves? If I had to pick just one, it would be people who stop to watch me and laugh the entire 15 minutes I'm attempting to parallel park.

QnA

In order to support the narcissistic nature of my birthday, I am opening my life to all who care to pry into it.
Feel free to ask me anything you've ever wanted to know, but never dared ask. I will answer ALMOST any question.
I'll compile all the questions, and answer them in one delightful celebratory birthday post on Saturday night... while I spend my birthday weekend ALONE.
insert pitiful sigh
I told Skip even if he gets back at 11:59 on Sunday night, it is still my birthday. I'll wait up.

ps To answer what several of you asked, Mika took the pics of Skip and I on Easter.

I Have No Shame... But Someone Loves Me

So. I almost blew myself up tonight. I'm not a suicidal person or anything. I'm not even really an idiot. My grill misfired. For some twisted reason, I find it very comical. You should click on this picture to look at it up close. (Pardon my freakishly large Charlie Brown forehead). I singed off a good portion of my left eyebrow, and half the length of my left eyelashes. My mascara instantly melted, and made this weird clumping feeling on my eyes. If you look closely, you can also see my hair product ignited as well. I have all kinds of small singed hairs on my scalp. I kept thinking I should be scared, or cry, or something, but honestly, all I thought was, "I better take a picture of this for my blog."
My name is Andrea.
I'm a blogaholic.

On a lighter note, earlier in the day, I received my first birthday present. (Sunday's the big day!) It came from Shally. Shally has become my friend through blogging, and I can't wait to really meet her next month. We actually went to USU at the same time, had the same major, the same professors, we were probably in the same classes. But we met on the blog. She has the most gorgeous children I've ever seen, and apparently the patience and kindness of a saint. I can tell that she is a great mom. I often like to ask myself "WWSD?" Of course, today, I am particularly high on her because she sent me this: Some very tasty tea cakes. She could have sent me poop, and I would love it because I'm that vain about my birthday. But she happened to send me a very delicious little treat, which I will fully enjoy after my kids go to bed tonight. THANKS SHAL!! YOU'RE THE BEST!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shower and remove the burnt hair smell from my head before my husband comes home. Then I'll probably have a tea cake.

Watch Out Beckhams! New Family Models In Town!

This post is again, open mockery. I really wanted to take some superb pictures of my children outdoors in their new Easter apparel. But it was nasty and miserable. And the weather was awful too...
WHY? Why can't they cooperate? Why can't they smile like normal children? Oh, wait, that is normal. Kids have gorgeous smiles. They light up and make you feel like the world is a great place. Unless, of course, you want them to do it on purpose. Then it is the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen. So not only did I have my gray, drab stone hearth for a backdrop, but I had children who were "smiling."
Keola: Mad because he has to wear a tie.

Noe: Cutest dress I've ever bought her. Too bad it's below freezing and you can't see it covered up by her sweater. But we sacrificed for fashion on her feet. Her call, not mine.

Mika: As the oldest child, he has far more years of photo torture under his belt than the other two. The best I can get anymore is a grimace with dimples.

OH WOW! What a stunning couple. Particularly elegant is how they wore coordinating shades of brown so they could match the mud puddle and dead wetland in the background.
So let's try and crop out all the unnecessary stuff, and turn it into black and white, so you can't really notice all the aesthetic flaws. My husband kindly pointed out it was more black than white, since the only "white" in the picture is his dress shirt and my face.

Nice. Happy Easter.

How I Maintain My Girlish Figure

Noe went to a birthday party today. It was an interesting experience, and I have some mixed feelings. I felt very different from everyone in the room, and I found myself continually self-chastising for being a snob. But the more I thought about it, I thought maybe I'm not just a snob. Maybe some things here just aren't quite working.

However, at the risk of seeming like a snob, I will say this:
I found it DISGUSTING that the other adults ate the birthday cake.
"What's wrong with eating birthday cake?" you ask.
"Trick candles," I reply.

The kid's dad thought it would be hilarious to put trick candles on the cake. Imagine how hard the five year old is going to try to blow those candles out. Imagine how hard the kid's friends are going to try. Now imagine all the germs and spit that will fly across the cake in the process. At one point, another parent actually yelled out, "OH! He's spitting on the candles to try and put them out! Don't do that, honey!" So even if no one else was thinking "EW!" just watching this, when the other parent blatantly announced the spitting, all germ-radar should've been beeping like crazy.
Funny thing, however, I was the only parent who declined a slice of cake. Sadly, I just couldn't think fast enough to keep my daughter from eating a slice. I didn't want to appear snobbish, and say, "I'm sorry, that filthy disgusting cake has spit and germs all over it. NO ONE should actually have any, least of all my child." And the mom had asked ahead of time if there were any food allergies, so that option was out. And I couldn't just yank the cake out from under Noe when she was so excited to eat it. So I let her.
People wonder how I stay so skinny. It helps that I avoid eating saliva-coated baked goods. But mostly, it's because I'm so high strung, that my body inwardly races a thousand miles a minute, thus burning almost every calorie I ever consume. And whatever calories are leftover, are burned by the physical exertion of maintaining a calm and cool appearance in such situations.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to retch.

Happy Easter!!

Yes. It's that time of year. As much as I love Easter, there is one thing about it that I abhor. Call me the Easter Scrooge, but I cannot stand the traditional egg hunts. Ironically, I don't feel it would be fair for me to deny my kids the opportunity to participate, but I spend the entire time just cringing. I feel I can openly criticize ours this year, since I have no actual friends in this area, far less anyone involved who would read my blog.
First off, you can see how little I care by the fact that I made my kids take their Halloween buckets to the hunt. Buy an Easter basket? FOR WHAT?! Yeah, we are that ghetto family.
Anyway. We arrive, and there is some kind of general explanation as to how it's all supposed to work. Before the explanation is even finished, kids are flying out the door. It's pandemonium. CHAOS! I can't even hear where I'm supposed to take my four year old. Of course, by the time I figure it out and take her out there, the vultures have swept through and cleaned it out. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?? Who is monitoring what goes on? I already see kids with close to fifty eggs in their baskets. Poor Noe is about to cry.
THANKFULLY, she has an amazing older brother. Keola saw her and immediately sized up the situation. He dumped half his bucked into hers, and then grabbed her hand and brought her around to find whatever was left. They ended up with about twelve eggs each, which in my opinion is plenty.
Apparently, someone thought it would be a great idea to hide mostly hard-boiled eggs for the older kids. You can see Mika's feelings on that... he doesn't even eat eggs, forget ones that were boiled who-knows-how-long ago, and then found in the dirt. Mmmm... yummy....
ANYWAY... I should just make my own egg hunt here at the house. Maybe I have anti-social tendencies... who knows. I'm just glad it's over with. The kids did actually have a good time, I'm sure this was more my issue than theirs. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, where they get new clothes and I get to take pictures of them looking nice. Because isn't that what Easter is all about?

Cotton Mouth, Poetry, and Leadership

Three things to discuss today.
First: Cotton mouth for the sober. Are you familiar with cotton mouth? Hopefully you are not. I've HEARD it's when you had a bit too much to drink the night before, and wake up the next morning feeling like you have a mouth full of cotton.
I've found a comparable alternative for the sober. I've been afflicted lately with some kind of sinus, allergy, cold thing (who knows what it is). I went to sleep sucking on a cough drop last night. I woke up this morning, and I SWEAR there was a caterpillar in my mouth. I laid there for a minute, wondering if a butterfly would eventually fly out. I couldn't taste a single thing I ate for breakfast, frankly, I couldn't even really feel food in my mouth. Completely disgusting.

Second: Mika brought home a poem that he wrote for school. They were to pick a color and write a poem about it. He chose black. I had some fleeting visions of him becoming a Goth freak, but taken at face value, the poem is pretty good:

BLACK
Black is the color of night.
Black is the cry of Gregory the Jailer
trapped in the dungeon.
Black is the scent of mildew.
Black feels like a dead rat.
Black makes me feel like I am in an everlasting maze.
Black tastes of dirt in a decaying garden.
Black is death.
Black is emptiness.
Black is my mind after a snow day.

I can relate to the snow day part. Fortunately, the kid is really into sports and all things related. But the first time I find black eyeliner in his bathroom, he's going straight to therapy.

Lastly, Leadership:
Keola has the best teacher in the ENTIRE WORLD this year. She has done wonders with him. We got this email the other day:

Keola had an exceptional day! He was very kind to others, he was a good listener and he participated appropriately…letting others have their say without interrupting. At the end of the day he went above and beyond the call of duty in helping clean up. He offered to carry a bag of books to the bus. He was a true gentleman. You can be very proud of him. I gave him a sticker but more than that I just took him aside, gave him a hug and told him he was awesome; hoping to build in the intrinsic good feeling of a job well done.

Then, of course, two days later we got this one:
Today I learned that Keola was the instigator of trouble after school on the bus from our classroom to West Park . He apparently blew up a balloon and then waved it around, asked who wanted a balloon. The teacher aide on the bus asked him to put everything away, but to no avail. Soon children (of which there are 40) were yelling we want a balloon. Then they were all chanting in unison. The bus driver had to pull the bus to a stop and refused to proceed until all the boys and girls were quiet. The bus driver was a substitute so I am sure he was fully aghast and did not know what to do. Today all the students in afternoon kindergarten had to sit at the tables with their heads down for about seven minutes. We had a long discussion about making good choices even when those around us do differently. The class went out for five minutes of recess; Keola missed his all together. I was sad to see that this happened…it does demonstrate the great ability Keola has to be a leader; kids love him.

He's either going to be leading the masses into Heaven or Hell. This remains to be seen.

All Over The Place

I feel like I have a million things I've been meaning to post about, and never gotten around to. So this post will be all over the place (Katie-style)

First off, Meex has found his new passion. He loves to be in the kitchen. After his huge success with the ribs and the cookies, he wants to cook all the time. He does, however, struggle with onions.

Enter the army goggles.

What they lack in style, they make up for in effective tear-prevention, and I am more than happy to turn this task over to him.

We went bowling the other day with some friends. Our only friends, actually. Well, our only friends in Idaho. We've become oddly anti-social since moving here. Could it have something to do with all my friends being inside my computer? Or are all the people here just weird?

I digress.

Noe squatted in front of the lane and shoved her ball down. It ricocheted off the bumpers, and about five minutes later, gently tapped a pin or two. It was like watching slow motion. It took FOREVER.

The main highlight was packing five children onto a simulated roller coaster ride, and watching them scream with delight and act like they were holding on for dear life. It was ridiculous, but fifty cents very well spent.

This guy broke the high score in whack-a-mole. He put the quarter in for Noe to play, and she freaked out. They were actually alligators, not moles, and she was scared of them. Rather than waste the quarter, Skip put his military combative skills to good use and whacked the living snot out of the alligators. If it was Vegas, it would've been a jackpot.

Mika discovered he doesn't need bumpers to bowl anymore. While his brother is still hurling the bowling ball shotput style down the lane, Mika has developed a bit of technique and skill. Just a bit, mind you. I'm really starting to like the new haircut. I miss the curls, but he's getting so handsome and grown-up, I can't help but adore him.

And then there's B. This guy is the best. We discovered today that he has a very important event at work that falls during (DUN, DUN, DUN...) Women's Conference/Blogapalooza. He had originally planned to take leave, and pull some daddy-duty. This was going to throw it all off. But he sent me this email:
I don't know how I missed this but I'll work around it. Commissioning is the biggest thing we do here so I need to be at the ceremony. Again, I don't know how this got missed but I want you to know that I want you to go and have a great time at blog-a-la-poop-a-lot.

What a guy, huh? He could've just said, Sorry babe. Tough luck. But we did some tag-teaming and some coordinating... and worked it out. We have been super busy this week, and it's only getting busier for the next month. I miss him in that business. I look forward to our little hour at the end of the day, when it's quiet and just us. No phone, no kids, no computer, just me and B. It's my favorite part of the day.

On a final note, last night I told him not to stress about getting that camera exactly by March 30th. I want to make sure I've selected the one I really want, and shopped around for the best deal on it. That may not happen by March 30th. He looked relieved when I told him not to worry if it wasn't wrapped up on my bday. A little too relieved, actually. So I gently reminded him that he damn well better have SOMETHING wrapped to present me with on that day.

Love you B!

Utah: Right on the Money

My very entertaining friend, Anna, just came back from a trip to Utah. She lives on the east coast, where I wish I lived. (Have you noticed I describe most of my friends as entertaining? If you are my friend, you are probably entertaining. Which is why you are my friend. Boring folk need not apply.)

Anyway.

Her accounting of the state is so accurate, you need to go READ IT YOURSELF.

Birthday Ramblings

Lest anyone has forgotten, it IS still birthday month. For ME, that is. As of today, there are only 13 days left. Hope you're prepared! I sure am.
Anyway. I got a very funny email from Clair in honor of the ongoing festivities. She and I are the same age. She is entertaining, which is why I so enjoy her as a friend. Read on:

I like finding people the same age. It helps me feel better. (See list of actresses below) This year I have been really thinking about my age... I know some of it has to do with being pregnant and having to be on the geriatric list since I will be 35 before I deliver.
Anyway, want to know who else is our age? Juliette Lewis, Tyra Banks, Neve Campbell, Tori Spelling, Gretchen Wilson (nevermind her, you hate Country), Tina Yothers (family ties) and Monica Lewinsky (would rather not know that one.) Okay, so the list isn't THAT impressive, but Juliette Lewis is kind of cool.

In better news, Jennifer Gardner is a whole year OLDER than us.
...but we have 2 years on Drew Barrymore.

And there are plenty of actresses who are nearly a decade older than us and still look good- Sandra Bullock, Marisa Tomei, and Lisa Kudrow.

That's more than enough useless information for today. Now why don't I go do something productive like mop the floors...


Hmm. So. This got me thinking. Tyra, huh? I'm fairly narcissistic about my birthday, she's fairly narcissistic about... well... Tyra.


Can you imagine the birthday episode on the Tyra Banks show? Tina Yothers, Tori Spelling and Monica Lewinsky in bathing suits with their weight across the front, all yelling at us to share our personal weaknesses so they can feel better about theirs. Sorry, Tina, your bulimia wins. Sorry, Tori, your infidelity wins. Sorry Monica, your... cigar? wins.
I'll enjoy my non-celebrity birthday. There will be no Cristal bubbling over and no paparazzi. But I also get to keep all my life's secrets to myself.

Mangerie

WARNING: This post may contain content not suitable for the easily-embarassed. Or my dad. So if you fall into either category, you may not want to read on.

The other night I threw on a little something spicy for my husband. In modern society, it's known as lingerie. The word "lingerie" hails from the french lin, which applies to all undergarments worn by either men or women. However, as we all know, in English, it refers solely to women's undergarments designed to be visually appealing. So as not to make this post entirely useless, please refer to the following informative paragraph, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"The concept of lingerie being visually appealing is relatively recent. Up through the first half of the 20th century women selected underwear for three major purposes: to alter their shape (first with corsets and later with girdles or bras), for reasons of hygiene, or for modesty. Women's underwear was often very large and bulky. As the 20th century progressed underwear became smaller and more form fitting. In the 1960s 'controversial' lingerie manufacturers such as Frederick's of Hollywood begin to glamorize lingerie and the idea of lingerie having a sexual appeal slowly developed."

Interesting. Back to the useless portion of the story. So without necessarily divulging more than you care to know, let me just say that we hung out for awhile, me dressed in my lingerie, and my husband dressed in... WAIT A MINUTE! Here's the injustice! What was he supposed to be dressed in? He had three options: Fully clothed, down to the whites, or the birthday suit (hmm.. it IS my birthday month... so option three COULD'VE been feasible...) The poor man felt somewhat distressed. What to wear to such an event? He lamented that I had all kinds of options available, while his were sadly limited. At this point, I proposed Mangerie. (pronounced MAN-jur-ay). See below for photo example.

I'm not suggesting by any means that my husband has lingerie envy. He's not secretly hoping for a men's line of satin and lace. He's a manly man, and we're all proud of it. But I think my mangerie option is a viable one. It provides for something out of the ordinary, while promoting comfort and some coverage. While some people may be content to just call these "boxers," I think the marketing world could really capitalize by promoting them as mangerie. I bought some for my husband under this new name, and it's been great.

Bragg'n On My Boyz

I will be the first to admit I've been a little nervous about spring break, primarily because of the weather. But apparently, there IS a god... and the weather has been beautiful. So nice, in fact, that I have barely seen the boys. Our backyard is a great big park with a pond, trees, bushes to crawl under, a playground... everything a boy could need to make hideouts and keep himself busy for hours. And that is exactly what has happened. These two, who normally fight worse than should be legal, have become best friends. They spend hours outside, playing, and get this... RESOLVING THEIR DIFFERENCES WITHOUT ME! It's been heavenly. I really enjoy observing their friendship grow.

They also got haircuts this week. The first time I've ever said "Fine" to a buzz. I was a little hesitant that some bizarre, misshapen skulls would appear. But it doesn't look too bad. I'm not sure I would choose it again, but it's their hair. And it always grows back... at exorbitantly rapid rates.

Meex wowed us recently with supper. He did it entirely on his own- I gave him the recipes and he had at it. He chose the menu- ribs with rice and carrot sticks, with white chocolate chip toffee cookies for dessert. He rubbed the meat down with mustard, then coated it with a dry rub, and then cooked them. He even basted them with the BBQ sauce. They were out of this world. And the cookies were just about the best I've ever had... and I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom. Believe me, I'm all for a good opportunity to blog about a kitchen mishap. But there's no contesting, they were fantastic. He was so proud of himself, and I appreciated a day off in the kitchen.

K-boy has set a goal to quit sucking his thumb. Some days are more successful than others. I do want him to quit, but I will also confess that I find him irresistably sweet when he does it. I figured if I took a picture or two, then I would be better about encouraging him to stop. We'll see...

It has been a great vacation so far. We have had such an increase of peace and calm in our home, and I have a renewed appreciation for my kids. They have been more patient with each other, and far kinder than I've seen in a long time. They lost their gamecube a few weeks ago (fighting and screaming at each other while playing), and are still in the process of buying it back from us through chores. (Twenty bucks to buy it back, we came up with three chores, they came up with three, and they have been very busy. Cleaning the garage, stacking firewood, cleaning the van, etc.) I am convinced that as they have worked together, they have increased their confidence, cooperation, and patience. We've turned off the tv and gone outside to play. There have been no video games. I can't help but draw a few parallels there. Hopefully we can get them to recognize that as well when they've earned enough to buy it back. I would love to see them choose to turn it off rather than us setting time limits for them.

Hey... a mom can dream, right?

With Special Guest Appearance By...

Apparently there has been some kind of injustice committed here. Above you will see the new Shuffle I bought for my husband. Below you will see the iPod which belongs to me. Following is his interpretation of the story:

Here’s the deal. My Old iPod died when I was in Iraq. Maybe it was the 130 degree temps or the fact that I dropped it a couple hundred times. Whatever the case, it died so I decided to take some of my hard earned deployment cash and buy a new one. I picked out a new, slick, black 80 GB model from the Apple site, clicked "buy now" and what popped up? They don’t ship to an APO address. For those of you who are asking what APO stands for I’ll tell you: it’s Army Post Office. Now what communist company doesn’t ship to an APO?

So I did the next best thing- I had it shipped to my wonderful beloved girlfriend, Andrea (pre-wife days) so she could ship it to me in one of her care packages. No problem right? Wrong. My wonderful beloved girlfriend liked New iPod and decided, in the name of love, to hold on to New iPod for me. You know, just until I came home from Iraq.

Flash forward to me coming home from Iraq. New iPod and I finally meet, and there’s an awkward uneasiness between us. It seems that New iPod has formed a bond with my wonderful beloved girlfriend (I’m sure Andrea told New iPod about the treatment of its predecessor) and they were inseparable. I learned a long time ago to not come between a woman and her electrical products, so in the interest of love I let my wonderful beloved girlfriend have New iPod. Now I’m back to square one, no iPod. Enter Old iPod.

We decided to visit the Apple store in the Oklahoma City mall where we turned Old iPod into Refurbished iPod. Refurbished iPod does …um…okay, but he’s not like Old iPod, and definitely not in New iPod league.

Apparently, the strain of competition is too much for Refurbished iPod, and his ticker goes kaput. Does this sound familiar, can you see a pattern? Skip gets iPod, Skip loses iPod. Do you remember my wonderful beloved girlfriend? She’s now my wonderful beloved wife and saw my pain. Enter iPod shuffle. More to follow.

Wondeful, beloved WIFE here. Just for the record, take a look at the inscription on the back of New iPod. Then you tell me... does a man engrave his iPod to himself with "you n me forever baby"?

What's a girl to think upon receiving this in the mail? Does the man profess his eternal love for me by engraving his own iPod? Sketchy. Very sketchy.

So. The case is turned over to the jury. To WHOM does that sleek, black 80 gig iPod belong?

This Is What I've Been Waiting For!!

I started blogging with this very goal in mind- to publish my blog into a series of books for my family. I used to scrapbook like crazy, but don't anymore. I kept a journal when I was a teenager, but frankly, those memories are not the best reflection of my life's history. But this blog has been a great way to combine both. The site I used is blurb.com and they make it about as easy as you can imagine. Here's what I ended up with after my first 6 months of blogging:

The front and back covers- you can choose hard or soft cover, I chose soft. It's cheaper.

You can "slurp" your entire blog into their program, and then choose which entries you want to publish. I didn't select all of mine, just the ones that reflected our family or things I felt my kids would enjoy reading one day.

I take a lot of pictures that I don't put on my blog... mostly because I'm too impatient to wait for them to all load, and I realize that unless you are a blood relation or very dear friend, you probably don't really want to see all 45 shots of my kids in the snow. But this program gives you the option of importing additional photos from your hard drive. So I did few photo pages, which were a lot of fun:
As you can see, they have all kinds of templates to choose from. You can also select different background designs, with the option of customizing the colors as you like:

There is one template that allows for a page full of small photos. This works well if your photos are simple, and close-up. If they are busy or small, the detail is lost:

You also have to have high resolution pictures, or the quality is very poor. I think once I get my NEW BIRTHDAY CAMERA... (that WAS a hint I picked up from you baby, wasn't it???) then I can improve the quality of my pictures, which will translate into sharper prints.

Anyway. If you are a blogger, I highly recommend looking into this program. My book was 100 pages long, and the softcover price was $29. Of course, after I added shipping, it jumped all the way to $40, but I still feel it's money well spent. It's certainly cheaper than scrapbooking, and I find it more enjoyable because I can write more.
One hundred pages for me was six months' worth of blogging. That was roughly 70 entries. I did some two page spreads, and some pages with extra photos. A hundred pages is a fairly manageable sized book.

Anyway. I love it. I plan to continue doing it, probably twice a year.

Let's Make Fun

We have been unusually lucky this winter, in that no one has gotten sick. Today, however, the sinus evils are upon us. Kboy is home with a cough, and I feel like someone is trying to force one of my lungs up through my trachea.

So what does one do when one is trapped home, not well? Maybe shower and brush teeth to help feel better? No. Maybe clean up the breakfast dishes? No. Maybe traipse out to the garage and poke around through old boxes of memorabilia? Absolutely.

A little reminiscing is great stuff. I feel it can all be summed up in one sentence: The 80's are an open invitation for mockery. If your kids are growing up in the new millenium, they will have no excuse for not looking good. But if you grew up in the 80's, expect to be ridiculed.

Read on, and mock openly:

The best thing that EVER happened was when my mother realized that I was indeed both a little bit country AND a little bit rock n roll, so she got me backstage passes to the Osmonds. Funny thing, though, because in real life, I'm NOT the teeniest bit country.

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Yes, in honor of my birthday month, here's a look back at the big day in 1982. LOVE the ribbon-weave barettes! I think I had a pair to match every outfit. Although I clearly didn't know how to actually match, since the barettes are purple and my shirt is... um... what color is it, exactly?

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WHOA! Step back! Who's that girl!? What is it about the 80's that compelled us to pose ALL THE TIME? Was it Madonna? Debbie Gibson? I think it was a secret desire to be discovered and featured in Tiger Beat magazine. Right in between Ralph Macchio and Kirk Cameron. I apologize to my little brother, who I probably forced to take these pictures for me. Although on a lighter note, I think I was actually tan. Huh. Long time, no see in that department.

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Oh yes, that's you Steve. And you look as bitchin' in your IRON MAIDEN tshirt as I do in my LED ZEP. Speaking of looking like a freak... yes, there are braces on those teeth. Zits on my face as well, but you can't really see them in this shot. Pity. So... couple the zits and braces with these bangs, and ai carumba! I like to refer to this as my Slinky Hair. Not because it's sexy and slinky, but because the bangs actually took the tunneled-arc shape of a slinky.

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The 80's were a time of true love. There were rules about showing affection. I'm sure I knew none of them. This is my version of How To Impress The Guy You Like 101:

1. Sneak out in the middle of the night with Brooke and Tara.
2. Bring toilet paper and forks.
3. Throw the TP all over his family's huge, wooded yard.
4. Stab forks in the lawn to spell out his name.
5. Take pictures.

He will clearly know that you have feelings for him, and would like him to ask you out. Although, be careful, because since Brooke was there too, he might assume SHE was the one who liked him, and ask her to his prom instead of you. -sigh- It's okay. She had less acne than me. I understand.

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Another reason to mock a child of the 80's... hard-earned money was spent on Bon Jovi tickets. Brittany and I worked our way right up to the front. This Boston concert was used for the filming of the Lay Your Hands On Me video, and my right arm is clearly visible for about 2.7 seconds in said video. Seriously. I'm sure you can find it on YouTube somewhere.

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Now. This brings me to music of the 80's. I am quite certain that at some point in time, I cried over a boy to this song. This would be one of about 48 songs I cried to, and probably 42 boys I cried over. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH 80'S HORMONES? Was it just me? Peter Gabriel- In Your Eyes; Tesla- Love Song; Brian Adams- Heaven; Broken Wings- Mr. Mister... have I struck a chord with you yet? I'm so happy R&B went the direction it did, and that I discovered it. Now THAT'S some music to dim the lights to.

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Did anyone else go to Girls' Camp and make these necklaces? You got a disc for each of your accomplishments. I was a little over-zealous. I liked a big necklace, because it meant I had accomplished a lot. (Brooke, you may want to make sure Linda sees this... lots of Z best...) As it turns out, I was pretty much an over-achiever. It was just Girls' Camp, for crying out loud.

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Lastly, my most monumental undertaking of the 80's... my bubble gum wrapper chain. It is longer than me, made out of hundreds and hundreds of intricately folded bubble gum wrappers. Oh yes, I worked on it during early morning seminary, biology, chemistry, even church. Every time anyone chewed gum, I accosted them for their wrapper. Look closely: remember Fruit Stripes bubble gum? Mmmmmm... good stuff. Don't ask me why I still have this, but I do. I dug it out today because I was telling Skip about it this week. He's coming home tonight, and I am ridiculously excited to show it to him.

So. In summation... the 80's were tough on everyone, for lots of reasons. It's no excuse however. We still deserve to be made fun of. Wicked bad.