Eye Juice

This was yesterday. This girl was carefree, loving some time outside under an umbrella... "to keep the sunny off."

She was still my baby.
Today, she started kindergarten. She is now gone all the livelong day. I have openly mocked various friends for the tears shed sending their kids off to school. Especially that last child. I mean, come on! The freedom that now sits in front of you once all kids are in school is AMAZING!
Yeah. Well. I happen to work part time at the same school that my 2 youngest attend. So I brought them in with me this morning, ready to kick them to the curb and bask in my freedom. I walked into the classroom with Noe, she gave me a kiss goodbye, and then shooed me away with her hands. "Go now, Mom! I'm going to school!"
I turned and barely made it out the door before this stuff covered my eyeballs. It was all hot and wet, and made it difficult for me to see. Like some kind of eye juice. I had to step into the staff bathroom and bawl my eyes out for a bit, before heading off to be a teacher.
What the heck happened? I saw both Noe and Keola several times during the day around the school, and I can't even describe how proud I felt watching them navigate things so successfully. A little more eye juice.
-sigh-
So much for super tough mama.

Never Underestimate the Power of the Schwartz

So. Date night. Now that football has started back up, all of our babysitters are accounted for. Which means date night is going to take a little more effort on our parts. So this weekend I told Skip to come up with the entertainment and I'd handle the munchies. We would have to stay home.
I was feeling pretty impressed with myself for whipping up a favorite kielbasa dip, pina coladas, and a tasty white chocolate mousse with fresh berries...

And guess what Mr. Hilarious provides for entertainment?
Spaceballs. Yes, the movie. I have bragged to him since we got married that while in high school, I could quote the movie word for word from beginning to end. I'm not sure if he wanted to test me, or just watch me laugh like an idiot for 90 minutes. Either way, it was one of the most fun nights we've had in a while. If you haven't watched Spaceballs since high school, the time has come. Actually, the time is now. You're looking at now, sir. What happens now is happening now. What happened to then? We passed then. When? Just now. When will then be now? Soon...
And yes, that's a portable DVD player on our bed. We refuse to put a television in our room... lessons learned the hard way once before. Television in the bedroom = lackluster love life.

My Little B.M.

So. In case you're wondering, this post is not about poop. B.M. stands for "Brag Moment". I'm sure a poop post would be more entertaining, but what is the blog for if not to exploit yourself and talents from time to time?

Feast your eyes on exhibit A:

Big whoop, says you. Well... let me just say that I started this little piece de resistance (please pronounce with a sultry French accent) about 5 or 6 years ago. I got a significant chunk of it done, and then threw it in a box with the rest of my life and forgot about it. The other day, I was looking at our drab green bedspread, thinking it looked an awful lot like an Army uniform, and decided it was time for a change.

I went to the garage, dug through a box, and found this unfinished business. I zipped around on the sewing machine for a bit, and presto! I now have this clever little log-cabin duvet cover.

There are plenty of flaws in it, to be sure. And I didn't have enough fabric to finish the log cabin pattern all the way around, so I had to do some improvising on the edges. But all in all, I'm pleased.
So there you have it. Secretly, I long to be domestic.

Nah. Just kidding. Secretly, I long to be rich enough to buy all the cute things I want.

The Doggie Paddle Gone Wrong

Ah, the local water park. It's a great place to take my kids when the temps rise to an uncomfortable degree. There are slides, various pools, lots of other kids to play with... you get the picture. We've been gone a lot this summer, so we haven't had the chance to go like we did last year. So this week, I thought we would make an appearance.

Imagine my shock and disgust when I arrived and found THIS picture posted up on the entry window:

We live in a very earthy-crunchy community. Sweaterheads abound. And they love their dogs as much as they love their deomcracy. For the most part, I don't mind all of this. I enjoy a little liberalism, I like the look of dreadlocks, I'm fascinated with hairy-underarmed women; I rather enjoy life in this modern day Haight-Ashbury.

But the dogs? It's a bit much for me. Have a pet if you want; love it, walk it, feed it... shoot, you can even bring it to the park and toss around a frisbee as long as you have a Walmart bag at the ready. But when I show up at the water park and find there is a special day set aside for doggie swim, I get a little ill. I get a little irate, actually. I mean, even though there's really no difference between a dog peeing in the pool and a kid peeing in the pool, one is clearly harder to stomach than the other. And while there is little difference between my long-haired stepdaughter shedding in the pool, and a doggie shedding in the pool, again, one is clearly more repulsive than the other.

So now what? Do I boycott? This is a small community. There are limited opportunities for aquatic adventure. We're having an unusual heat wave, and water play is essential. The kids think it's cool. Is this one more thing in my life that I'll just have to learn to let go of? Why, God, must you torment me with these trials???

Summertime's Over

So. The vacation is over. I came home to 148 posts on my Google Reader. I skimmed and then marked all as read. Sorry. I'll never catch up on all that.

We had a phenomenal time. All things considered, there was minimal bickering, pouting, or outright fighting. And the kids were pretty good too. We were all sad to send Jordan and Samantha back, and we're already counting the days until our family can reunite at Christmas. From start to finish, we spent over 75 hours in the car, drank almost 200 bottles of water and G2, slept in 8 different locations, and spent more money on gas than on actual entertainment. But it was all 100% worth it. Check it out...

Reasons

Blogging is fantastic because you can meet so many great people. But the creme de la creme of it all is that you can put your best foot forward. It's the cutest pictures of your kids, the best family moments captured with smiles and love.
That said, it becomes clear that there is a risk you take when meeting your blog friends in real life. We were passing through Shally's neck of the woods last week, and decided to invite ourselves over. Here are the reasons meeting a blog friend's family in real life is a bad idea:

1. Your boys will probably wrestle, which will probably get out of hand, which will probably lead to crying and punching.

2. Your daughter might want to hold the baby. Chokehold the baby.

3. You might go to the playground, where your husband could do embarrassing things like hog the toys, even throwing his own child to the ground or leaving another child off in order to have a turn for himself.

4. Your child could spin so much that he or she gets dizzy, and consequently vomits, grossing out everyone and losing cuteness.

5. You and your spouse might pull up at your blog friend's house right in the middle of a heated discussion regarding parenting. You will then have to pretend that you are excited and happy, when really you are thinking the 60+ hours you've spent in the car together may be a bit much. You may even make the mistake of trying to continue your heated discussion at the playground, which will result in an awkward situation for everyone involved. There are no pictures of this.

All that said, there are plenty of good reasons to go ahead and introduce your families.

1. Your kids will get over all their irritating behaviors. They will like each other.

2. Your daughter will finally meet Banky, and be thrilled. Banky will survive the chokehold.

3. You will get an inside look at real life for both parties, and you will further appreciate your friend's parenting skills, personality, and pets. Well, the last part is a lie.

4. Your husbands will see why you enjoy spending time online with "these people" and will have a greater appreciation for your blogging hobby.

5. You get to become better friends than you were before.

Shal, you rock. We had a blast and it was great to not eat restaurant food yet again. You're especially super to put us up in the middle of your coming and going, as well as an impending move. We owe you one.