it's SMACKDOWN time.

*before i start today's lunatic rant, i just wanted to say thanks for all the email i got regarding the previous post. i have a lot of really deep thinking to do, and some "back to basics" gospel workouts. if i ever get there, i'll invite you all to my kumbayah party.

so. the other day my kindergartener asked if he could borrow my tweezers to pull out his unibrow. upon further probing, i discovered a 6th grader on the bus had been teasing him about it. he said this had been happening for about a week. so i called the bus department, and the man (named DICK, no kidding) assured me he'd look into it. i asked him to get back to me and let me know the results. he said he didn't understand what i was talking about. i said, i would like to know how the child was approached, what was said, and what the results of the conversation were. dick said, "um. oh. i guess i could call you back." i said, "that would be fantastic dick."

so dick called me this morning. he said, "we spoke to the 6th grader, and he said your son was throwing pasta at him." i said, "on friday, keola made a noodle necklace at school. he brought it home, it broke, the 6th grdaer was teasing him, so he threw a noodle at him. i'm not trying to justify my son's actions, he did get in trouble for throwing the noodle. but what was done about the teasing incidents?"
dick said, "well, the 6th grader said he only threw the noodle back because your son threw it at him first. " i said, "dick. you and i spoke last wednesday. the noodle throwing incident took place on friday. the teasing was happening before the noodle was thrown."

dick (i'm really enjoying calling him by his name) said, "well apparently your son isn't too afraid of this other boy if he's throwing pasta at him. and the other boy said he only threw back in self-defense." to which i replied, "so, dick. are you telling me pasta throwing trumps bullying in bus house rules?" "no, ma'am. nothing trumps bullying." at this point, i almost want to laugh, but i'm so annoyed with his complacency and idiocy, i just can't. but i'm laughing now. so i said to dick, "i would like to know what is going to be done to prevent this 6th grader from continuing to tease my kindergartener. in spite of his pasta throwing, he is still much smaller than the 6th grader and i would like to prevent this from escalating."

dick said, "well, your son should sit in the front of the bus and report any teasing to the bus driver immediately." i said, "is anyone going to speak to the 6th grader again and address the real issue here? what is going to be done to protect my child from being teased?" dick replied, "it's our job to protect every child on the bus. your son was throwing pasta at another child. we have an equal responsibility to both children." i said, "dick. are you kidding me? you have done nothing to protect my child. you have fully sided with the 6th grader because he had pasta thrown at him. he has taken no responsibility for his actions. what is going to be done about that?" and dick said, "well, i guess we could look into that again, and if the 6th grader needs to be written up, that's what we would do. but we can't just kick him off the bus."

at this point i could see that dick was clearly not the person i needed to be speaking with to address this issue. i told him that i had made a written note of his complacent response, of his preference towards punishing kindergarten pasta throwing over 6th grade bullying, and that i would then take it up with higher authorities.

so consider this the written note, and if you'll excuse me, i'm off to talk to the 6th grade and kindergarten principals.