Don't Know How You Do The Voodoo That You Do So Well...

So. I've had a little exposure to the love and logic program in the past. Enough to give me a general idea, but not enough for me to grab ahold of it and really implement it as a parent. I've used it teaching, and it's great. But parenting is a different arena. The course is being offered at Keola's school in the evenings, so Skip and I signed up for it. We have been pleasantly surprised.

As the name implies, because you love your children, you want to teach them and discipline them using logic. After all, that's how the real world works, right? You have all kinds of different choices. Sometimes you make the right ones, sometimes you don't. You don't get rescued when you make mistakes, but you do make a whole lot of them. Ideally, you learn from them to avoid repeating them. And a little empathy goes a long way in the process.

So let me give you an example of the theory in practice. We planned to take the kids out for lunch today. Early this morning (snow day) I gave them a choice:

We would love to take you out for lunch today. You may choose to have kind behavior towards one another and select a meal off the menu, or you may choose to be unkind to one another and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead.

The morning went fairly well. We drove over to pick up Skip at lunch time, and it looked a little somethin' like this in the van:

Skip got in the car, I told him we had a situation, and we got out of the car to conference. We got back in the car, and I said, "Darn it, this is such a bummer guys. We were so excited to have lunch at the restaurant today, but I can see you've chosen peanut butter and jelly instead." There was a stunned silence. Skip and I ordered some food to go, and ate it in the car. It smelled WONDERFUL, and the van was peaceful and serene as we talked to each other over lunch. In the back of my mind, I kept waiting for a fit from someone, some more screaming or crying about how unfair it was. Nothing. They understood that they had chosen peanut butter and jelly. When Skip returned to work, he just reinforced by saying, "I'm bummed out we didn't get to eat lunch together today guys. I was really looking forward to it. Maybe next time!"

I drove them home and made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which they hungrily ate. I'm going to chalk this one up to a successful parenting moment on a snow day. And to the angels above us who are silent notes taking, that's worth a lot.