are you sure, because this is for eternity...

one year ago on december 23rd, skip and i got married.one year and one week later, we went to the spokane temple to be sealed to each other. a very wonderful woman, who is a far better woman than i am, offered to come with us and watch the kids while we were in the temple, so that they could be a part of the evening. (mad thanks to jessica who i actually met through blogging... she lives near enough to the area that she provided us with a list of fun things for them to do while they waited... what a lifesaver!) anyway. so in our church, we believe in eternal life. part of that belief includes the concept of the eternal marriage and family- that "til death do you part" can be overcome with priesthood ordinances.
that is a really great plan! even though some days you think, "hmmm... eternity? with this person? i dunno..." deep down, you know it's what you really want. skip and i were talking the other day about marriage. i told him that i find it to be pretty hard. in spite of the fact that i love him more than i ever knew i could, and in spite of my sincere desire to be successful in our relationship, it is hard being married. why is that?
in my opinion, marriage is basically a continual series of compromises, primarily over idiosyncrasies... which are even tougher sometimes than the big stuff. for example, one spouse may insist on folding HIS (or her) underwear into something just short of origami. no other fold will do. this could really annoy the spouse who does most of the laundry. or maybe one spouse insists on wearing his (OR HER) very short hair in a nubby little pony tail. this could cause said spouse, in some opinions, to look like a pirate, and the other spouse may find this very annoying. so do you continually point out that AT LEAST THE LAUNDRY IS FOLDED and that THE PONYTAIL LOOKS RIDICULOUS? or do you instead think "i am glad my spouse is happy and satisfied with whatever situation we find ourselves in"? the key is to pick the second choice. the easy way is to go with the first.
this is what makes marriage tough for me. i'm picky, i'm controlling, i'm semi-obsessive, i'm impatient, i'm demanding. (wow. in my defense, sometimes i can be nice too, and i'm also kinda funny). but this is how you make a better marriage. you both take opportunities to examine your flaws (which all become scathingly evident the day after you say "i do.") and then you work on them. and you try to be patient with each other in that process. and as you do all that, you work on your ability to communicate. some people are naturally blessed with these skills. and some of us are not.
so the bottom line, for me at least, is that if i am willing to try, i can only come out a better person in the end. and in turn, that can help me make a better marriage. of course there are a million other complexities that play into it all... but i'll shoot for tackling one at a time. but either way, i'm very happy that i can spend a really, really long time with my best friend.