Sometimes, are you just not sure what you should write on your personal yet public blog? I'm sort of having that experience right now. I am stuck in a funk. I want to write about it, but it is probably way too personal. If it affected only me, or involved only me, it would probably be okay. But when other people are involved, you sort of owe it to them to respect some level of privacy. Plus, you have to think that mostly, people don't want to hear all your tales of woe. Particularly when they are the same tales that consistently plague you; the kind that make people want to scream at you "GET OVER IT ALREADY."
That said, I suppose a healthy approach would simply be to solicit funk advice. What do you do when you find yourself in a funk? How do you de-funk? What works for you?
Yesterday, I was hired for a full-time position that I was after. I am very happy about this, and start work again on Monday. The down side is that I have to switch schools. The upside is that I can earn extra money and increase my experience. I do, however, worry a bit that my schedule will now feel too demanding. My free time to exercise will be gone. If I want to exercise, I'll have to do it in the evenings, which is nearly impossible between my husband's work schedule and my children's sports schedules. (I can't do mornings because Skip already leaves at 5am. )
Anyway. Hook a sista up. Tell me what you do when you feel overwhelmed, frustrated or confused about life in general. Your reply, however, cannot contain the words "Diet Coke" or "Dr. Pepper", as I'm looking for stuff that I could actually try.
26 comments:
A funk usually requires a change of scenery for me. It sounds like you will be experiencing a change of scenery with your new job. I hope the new job won't be overwhelming, though...not being able to exercise can bring on depression...well, in people that actually exercise it can. (I don't have that problem...I mean, the problem of exercising regularly).
Now, for me, big changes bring on depression though. When I say, "a change of scenery", I mean...ya know...get out, get some fresh air, have a good cry with a girlfriend...Do you think that the change in your work is bringing on a funk?
Oh, forget it...I am going to e-mail you.
Also, I have to be on medication. I just wanted to mention that the medicine truly helps me.
Last year I decided to give yoga/meditation a try. I signed up for a six week class and it was one of the best things I have done for myself. The most useful thing I learned was about the meditation. I know it may sound hokey but as members of the church I don't think we take meditation seriously or really understand it. It is something that should be taught more fully. This has been the most trying time of my life on record. Sleepless nights, family stress etc. I have used my meditation skills to calm myself and help me sleep. A little cannoli lifts my spirits too...
Goodluck with the new job and I hope your funk is lifted soon.
I am the "Funk Master"! Do I need to remind you of my post a few days ago...
If it were only that easy to just "get over it!".
I have found that venting is essential for me. So I call a friend or two and let it out. I also have learned that serving someone really helps. I make a meal for someone (which is total service, because I HATE to cook and don't hardly cook for my own crew) or clean, sew, etc... I also try to focus on all the blessings I do have. And of course prayer is a good help too. I know this sounds like a Sunday School lesson but it is what has helped me lately.
I am so here for you sista! I feel you...I really do.
I hate those funks.
The good thing is that we all have them, and they usually don't last long.
Whenever I get that way I really try to do something for myself. I go out with friends or plan a fun date with Zach. Something that reminds me about ME and what I like. It helps me forget my worries and remember that I really am a fun person.
I think we get so caught up in being mom's and wives that we lose ourselves. Sometimes I just miss ME.
Go to the temple by yourself where you can just think about all the good you have in your life. Get away from the yuckiness of the world and just soak in the spirit.
Good luck.
You can also come down to SG for a while! A good cupcake can solve any problem. ;)
Usually, I think I am the answer for your funks!!
I guess that means a Bud Light would be out too??
I'll risk sounding shallow and materialistic.. and openly admit that buying stuff seems to work for me personally. Even if it's just a lipgloss.. or jug of milk-- I enjoy purchasing in general. Gives me some feeling of control or power that is probably not all that healthy.. but does the trick. I actually just lifted from a 24-hour funk myself.. and was sure, at the time, I had lost all patience, humor, and zest for life. It passed. Yours will too. My Mom used to always say two things..
1. "This too.. shall pass.."
and it seriously, always did. Sooner or later.
2. "It's always better in the morning"..
which iit USUALLY was-- but I can't promise that quick a fix everytime.
Heck.. just throw on that $42 bra.. do your hair up right with your sexy side-swept bangs..
and go out for a REALLY good meal.
(Preferably NOT chicken stuffed ravioli.)
My favorite form of escapism is reading. I need to talk it out and hang out with friends. I am a social creature and my solitary confinement gets to me. Blogging has helped me connect with cool new friends like you.
You can use all your $ to fund a really big purchase.
Well, I love ya but I got nothing for ya. Cuz my whole life is kind of a funk :)
Maybe we should listen to the funk...and do a funky dance.
Maybe the time HAS come to try the diet coke route, if all else fails.
Sorry, just had to put it in there because you told me not to.
I hate the funks. I was in one a few weeks ago myself and had a major meltdown because of it. I think the key is finding a way to release the stress every day so that while you're waiting for it all to pass that you don't explode and go manic on your family or husband. Exercise is that for me, but I can see how working full-time would make that next to impossible. Maybe even just try to squeeze in 20 minutes somewhere.
I also think the venting thing is good, and we never tire of that around here, my friend.
I didn't see Diet Pepsi or Chocolate on your list.
Funks stink. Start looking at Real Estate over on the other side of WA. That should perk you up!!!
Congrats on your new job!!!
Let's take Katvee's advice. You dress up the ladies in the new bra and in the immortal words of Star Child; we can go out and both get funked-up! Or maybe take Tom Browne's advice and go Funkin for Jamaica? Or listen to The Brother's Johnson’s advice and Get the Funk Out Ya Face. I know this means nothing to anyone out there but you an me baby and that's all that matters. I love ya and it all works out in the end.
When you get all the answers, please forward them on to me. I've been in a funk for 14 years. Still trying to figure out how to de-funk. But for me, it has started out with trying to get my spiritual house back in order again . . . AND exercise.
P.S. Just thought of something else I recently did to get over the confused, frustrated, etc. feelings that being in a funk brings on. I went on a vacation for 23 days. Yeah, not 100% practical . . . but boy did it feel LIBERATING and HAPPY. And if you want to see pics from my vacay, go ahead and visit my sister's blog. She stole all my pics and then deleted them from my memory card.
Movies, chocolate, vacations - all help.
Sorry that you are in funk mode. When I get in funk mode I feel lonely and helpless. Good music helps. As does a good dose of scripture reading.
You know what I think. Serious depression can be mislabeled "funk" and it's way more than funky if it lasts more than a day or two. Medicate misery, babe.
Go for a run, walk in a peaceful setting, drink wine, take a bath, or meet your favorite, uplifting friend to distract you or make you feel warm and fuzzy
When I read about all these married broads in their funks, and I think about my life all alone, not dealing with a wife in a funk, it brings me right out of any funk I might find myself in.
And yes I dangled a participle, big funking deal.
Wait I didn't dangle a participle, I ended a sentence in a preposition. I knew I did something funky.
I don't really know, I have a funk that I have to repress because of the other people involved and I'm sure one day it will cause me to snap. On the other hand I'm sure some would argue that I have in fact, already snapped.
I usually cry, talk to someone who loves me and knows how to listen and who is actually smart about life. I sit outside and sing to woodland creatures, you think I'm kidding. I call my dealer (Harmons, Liberty Heights fresh, a bakery) and see what they are pushin. And, I make dinner for someone who could use a dinner.
I guess my point is that I allow myself to be a bit selfish, I have to talk about the demands being placed upon me and my family sometimes, but then I also have to forget about myself regularly in order to step out of that place.
I don't want this to be condescending because I know that you know how to serve, and that service helps you forget about yourself, and I do understand that there are times it takes more. I'm just hoping that it saves me from the brigade of craziness and drama that we didn't invite into our lives but seems to be our responsibility anyway.
Maybe we should talk, you are actually the smart and level headed one.
Congrats on the job. Feels so good to get something you were after even if it is accompanied by a little funk.
Isn't it funny how good things in our lives can sometimes bring on the most funk. New babies, jobs, homes....Any change or transition can get us feeling a little funky. My advice is just roll with it. You know it will go away, cause you've been there done that before (As we all have.) Sometimes when we focus too much on the funk it gets worse. Just keep on keepin' on and one day you will wake up and realize, "hey, the funk is gone. When did that happen?"
You know I love ya and hope and know it will all work itself out.
By the way, I think Rufus was a bit off in his advice. I think he should have been saying, "let the ladies loose, out of that new bra." That should get rid of the funk for a while anyway!!!!
Hmmm... good question.
I read a book or eat something fattening.
But I do that when I am not in a funk either.
I would tell you to go to the temple. It gives you at least a few moments of respite before heading out into that world again. I know it is a long drive, but drop your kids off at one of the Jessica's and have yourself some quiet time.
If you find the answer pass it along...I work one full-time and one part-time job and then sports for one girl and trying to spend any time with the other leaves me virtually no time for my husband let alone myself...so I've got the funk thing down pat, so if you need someone to commiserate with I’m your girl…the answers on how to get out are better found somewhere else however ;-)
Not too sure how to help with the funk in anyway that hasn't already been sugested. Sounds like you're worried you'll loose your time to take care of YOU with the new job. Is it possible for you to get in your exercise at home in the mornings? If Skip is leaving at 5am, can you hop on a tredmill or eleptical or do some step aerobics. OH, the P90X and other beach body videos are a GREAT help. (Once I get into my habit and see results, I'll eventually share them.)
Can the kids carpool with others to their activities. Do you have them reasonably booked, or over booked for a family of 5-7 and thus stealing all opportunity for you to BREATH. Sometimes job changes for a parent requires extra help and sacrifice from the rest of the family. Be upfront about what YOU need. (more upfront then the change to chicken...which we thought sounded YUMMY by the way. I too have a body that argues with too much red meat.)
So, if Skip can have those amazing suits for how much? then can't you have your own home gym?
Dunno, just a thought since the funk description is vague.
GOOD LUCK with da funk, and hope you LOVE your new job!!!
I'm loving all this advice. At the moment, I've got nothing for you because there are times when I feel like I just slog through a transition, change or tough period. I'd like to say I get through it gracefully, but I don't. Perhaps there is grace in simply getting through the rough spots.
Laughter helps me. Having a friend with a great sense of humor - such as yourself - is a survival must.
Also, getting a babysitter and getting away for a day with the husband and talk, listen, do something fun. Answers tend to come when you have a good listener.
Sending my love.
For me I need to make sure I take me time. It may be 15 minutes reading or watching a tv show. Also we try to do something active as a family each day (as if taking care of kids isn't already). Walking, playing a sport or game or something to move.
Lastly the biggest thing to de-funk is doing something for others. It's usually the last thing I want to do but it always makes me feel so much better!
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