Feeling stung, and wanting to dig my way out of any ill-perceived vanity, the following conversation ensued:
A: Did I ever tell you that I used to wear headgear?
B: Yeah, I think you mentioned that before.
A: You know, the kind that straps around your head. It was hideous.
B: Mm-hmm.
A: Yeah, I had braces AND headgear. Not pretty.
B: I imagine.
A: I refused to wear it out in public.
B: That's because you're vain.
A: I am NOT vain! If I had been wearing headgear on our first date, would you have still been interested in me?
B: Ahhh... No.
A: WHAT!?!
B: Sorry babe. That's a no.
A: But what if I was still an attractive 34 year old woman, with nice legs and long, blond hair?
B: Ain't happenin baby.
A: Seriously? Even if I had the same sense of humor and we totally clicked like we do now?
B: Nah.
A: What if we had met online, and you were really drawn to me as a person before you knew about the headgear?
B: Then you would've been misleading me, and I probably wouldn't like you anymore.
A: THAT IS SO SHALLOW! YOU ARE SO VAIN! You wouldn't want to be seen with me just because I had on headgear?
B: Goodnight, baby. Sleep well.
A: silent pouting; exaggerated tossing and turning; occasional loud sighs
B: You're beautiful.
A: happy, vanity and pride fully restored: Thanks B. Love you.
And so it goes. But come on. Is there really something so wrong with this:
that can't be overcome with this:
18 comments:
Ha Ha!! You're hilarious!! It takes them a while, but they eventually catch on!!
Sometimes improvements need to be brought to the attention of husbands. A new shirt, highlights, a 2 lb weight loss, and of course the toning of the calves. Nothing wrong with stating the obvious for the (often) visually impaired.
Ok, Skip. I'm beginning to think you experience delight in yanking Andrea's chain. You know, just rattle it around every now and then and see how red hot she gets.
Yeah, I imagine the head gear would get in the way of all the action he [correctly] perceived he'd be getting from you.
He is a wise man to end with the, "You're beautiful."
I love that picture...not the headgear, silly...the adorable last picture.
You're ragging on my braces right now, aren't you? Rude.
You're so vain.
I had head gear also. It was terrible! I was supposed to wear it to school.
Seriously.
It is hard to be sassy and cute when you have head gear on. :)
It was my turn to stalk you last night, but then someone needed my attention and I didn't get to comment.
Anyway, my husband and I have similar conversations. If he at all implies that my vanity is getting the best of me(like if I mention the loose skin on my stomach, I know, so vain), I always like to remind him of the reasons that he was initially attracted to me.
That headgear is horrific! It looks like that girl is actually smiling-she must still be under the influence of the laughing gas. Show us some leg!!!
Not wearing headgear in public is not vanity. It is social survival.
Although the headgear didn't seem to keep Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles from scoring with the popular girl. However come to think of it, Joan Cusak's character didn't seem to do so well with her headgear.
That's it. Headgear is sexist.
You're not vain, you're a realist.
Looking at your body almost makes me WANT to join a gym, but the feeling fades fast unfortunately.
Ha! You both are so funny. I wish I could be a fly on your wall sometimes!
I would imagine flirting with headgear on would look silly and be ineffective. Good boy Skip for saying you're beautiful in the end. All's well that ends well.
You will be amazed to know that I, the grand daughter of Dr. John R. did NOT ever have to wear a headgear. Although every time I went for a check up he asked me if I was wearing it every night. Go figure.
I'm sure you made head gear look good.
I knew you back then. I never saw you in the headgear. I bet you looked like a Marilyn Manson video.
Skip's lying, by the way. He'd have loved you in the headgear. I can tell.
The question is mute. Andrea is too vain to wear headgear in public. Therefore, I would have never had to make the choice. Besides, I love all her flaws.
Just in case my wife deleted my last comment, what i meant to say was I love you baby.
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